Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

She cheated after 4-year relationship and now she regrets and wants me back.. Me [33M] gf [25F]

23 replies

johnandi · 27/08/2017 19:13

Hi everyone i need help...

My so call girlfriend cheated me with some friend of hers. I thought we had a great 4 year relationship, we have fights like any other couple but at the end of the day we were happy. We were living together for over 6 mounts, and the relationship went down as we were together 24/7 and we develop a routine. We have a talk about her going home to spend some time apart and to rebuild our love. After the talk in about 1-2 days she came to my home and tell me that her friends had kiss her and she run away (supposedly).

It all started few mounts ago at some random friend’s party when she started flirting with a friend of hers in front of me and everybody. After confronting with her she said it was nothing going on, they are just friends and to stop been a paranoid guy. I believed her but still had some suspicions for her friend.

After the party she started going out with her friends (this guy was friends of her friends). I suggested that she have to go out with her friends more often to avoid the routine of spending days at home after work, watching movies and not doing anything else.

Few days later she was out with her friends and yes “her friend” was there. She supposedly was drunk and went to this guy home with her friends. He kissed her and she supposedly turns her head and ended the kiss. She told me that she was crying all night but still she slept over at his home. I was texting her that same night to check if she was ok ( and yes she said everything was ok…) she came back tomorrow and this guy give her a ride to my home… She admitted me after a day or two and I was devastated. I kicked out from home and the following days I started to write her sms telling she was a whore ets..

After a few weeks she came back to my home we had some talk and decided to continue our relationship from the beginning and to realty work on us. After all it was just a drunken kiss. The next 4 mounts were great we were falling in love again and I taught this was the right decision. A few days ago she tells me that after the kiss, and after i kick her out of my home and me sending some ugly sms and phone calls she went to the same guy and slept with him.

I cant not f believed it. I cant believe she do that after seeing me how devastated I was about a kiss. She sad that there were no emotion she does not know why she done that. She calls me now and that crying all the time, shaking and having panic attracts. She is telling me she had made a mistake and she will do anything to forgive her. I love her and she was my everything, but the image of them in bed is killing me. And the lies of 4 mounts that her excuse was she didn’t want me to hurt me….

I really don’t know what to do. I love her but this hurts a alot

OP posts:

inlectorecumbit · 27/08/2017 19:17

you were NOT together when she slept with him and l am not surprised after the name and Whore calling.

She deserves to be with someone who respects women which obviously you don't.

I hope you don't get back together - this relationship is toxic

ImperialBlether · 27/08/2017 19:18

Are you kidding? What do you think we're going to say to that?

Offred · 27/08/2017 19:49

A. This relationship is a total mess. It isn't love, it is toxic.

B. Harassing someone as you did is criminal behaviour not being 'devastated'.

C. Your time would be better spent working out why you chose to behave the way you did than on trying to work out why she behaved as she did.

and yes, you have no say in what she did when you weren't together, if you are angry/upset over it don't get back together with her

PacificDogwod · 27/08/2017 19:50

Get some RL help.
Please.

HadronCollider · 27/08/2017 19:52

You both sound incredibly immature and unprepared for a relationship built on respect and real love. Real love endures longer than a few months of non excitement. Your texts to her are abusive as are hers to you. You both need to develop some character, grow up and be with different people.

Anecdoche · 27/08/2017 19:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lookatyourwatchnow · 27/08/2017 20:14

If my partner had a drunken kiss with some girl at a party i would lose my shit.

If a woman posted that her partner had cheated on her, he'd be cunted out all over MN.

Anecdoche · 27/08/2017 20:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SandyY2K · 27/08/2017 20:25

As usual a man gets slated on MN.

Listen OP, she kissed the guy. She didn't leave his house after the kiss... So who knows if you had the truth.... But you broke up with her. I think you can consider it over.

Best move on and put it down to experience. She clearly had a thing for her friend and wanted to experience sleeping with him.

Move on and don't get back with her.

lookatyourwatchnow · 27/08/2017 20:33

Unwanted advance but then still stayed over at his house and got a lift home off him? Alright then.

Then shagged him (again) days later.

Trills · 27/08/2017 20:41

Did you not get the response you wanted on Reddit?

Anecdoche · 27/08/2017 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trills · 27/08/2017 20:44

She is a fool for wanting to continue your relationship after you decided that the way to react to her confessing to a kiss was to text her calling her a whore. That's not a nice way to behave. It's not acceptable.

Trills · 27/08/2017 20:49

I think you'd both be better off without each other. You'll both get over it.

NoMoreDecorating · 27/08/2017 21:00

You posted this on able2know and were pretty much given the same responses there...

Original poster

johnandi · 27/08/2017 21:12

I have posted this on many forums just to get more opinions. Thank you for your time. just keep in mind that she was flirting with the same guy, we talk about it and it happen with the same guy. That is why i was so pissed and i was also drunk when i kick her out of my house and writing those sms. ( i know it was wrong)

OP posts:

NoMoreDecorating · 27/08/2017 21:18

And you have been told on every forum that you were abusive and nasty, you weren't together when she slept with someone else and to let her go. Don't ruin her life.

WhiskyIrnBru · 27/08/2017 21:26

You sound immature. I had to go back and check I didn't misread you were 13.

PacificDogwod · 27/08/2017 21:29

I have posted this on many forums just to get more opinions.

Well, at least the opinions seem to be unanimous.

Like I sad, get help in RL to gain some understanding of what a healthy relationship entails.

Voice0fReason · 27/08/2017 22:02

You sound like a pair of teenagers.
Your relationship is an unsalvageable, disastrous mess.

Booboobooboo84 · 27/08/2017 23:13

she deserves better than you. She had a guy try it on, she was honest and you called her a whore for it and made her homeless.

Pantryboy · 27/08/2017 23:17

She's an idiot to want you back imho

thestamp · 27/08/2017 23:27

Why are you bothering with this drama? Its not meant to be this difficult. Walk away. Let the girl move on, no need to call her names and humiliate her ffs. You're behaving like a teenager, grow up for the love of God.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread