Anyone ever just walk away with kids and nothing else

[Olderandcolder]

I cannot take any more. Have posted under different names about partner. Told him six weeks ago it's over. He won't listen.
I started telling people in real life we were separated. He keeps posting love messages to my social media as though we are still a couple. He doesn't work, I work two jobs to provide for dc.
We have a housing association property, in both names. It's OK but needs a good bit more work. It's in a nice area where we have raised our children for ten years, bit it's an hours commute from my work each way, sometimes longer.
I feel like just signing the tenancy over to him taking the kids and starting over in a new place altogether . Back to te city centre to be close to work, I've me back three hours away. I'd be broke but surely it couldn't be any worse than living with someone who has destroyed our lives.
Looking for stories / inspo from others who have done similar.

Also the house is a shit heap. Kids are afraid to play out on the road as neighbours let the dogs roam the streets . If I moved out and stayed in the area at least he would have to do school runs for me whilst I am at work...I dunno what to do for the best.

A friend of mine did. She was a ha tenant as well, her ha were great, they moved her into another of their properties without needing a deposit as she fell under their safeguarding policy. Speak to your ha, they may be able to give you some practical support.

I was going to say is there any history of abuse or is it just general unpleasantness and idleness?

Substance abuse, financial abuse. Gaslighting and histrionics. Stemmed suicide due to personal debt to drug dealers. Consultant psychiatrist says he has no mental health condition but probably personality disorder. Physically abusive on a handful of occasions, the Last time was around eight years ago.

When he was in the psych unit he was abusive to female staff members. And trying to sneak weed in. He's in his forties FFS.

It doesn't sound as though you live in a nice area so tbh I would consider moving them to where you live as in the long term that 3 hours per day you gain would be worth it.

I wouldn't want to leave my DC in the care of someone who is clearly a shit parent and as well as shit partner! You can't trust him to get them up and look after them so don't leave without them. You will end up having to financially support HIM as well as the DC.

How old are they?

Teens and primary aged... Childcare will be expensive. I'd rather be broke for me than broke because of him. He give me nothing. His disability payments/pension give him 270 quid a week. I'm lucky if he hands me 50 of that.

They aren't terribly young then, childcare costs do come to an end! Not to mention school holidays can be spent with daddy...

you can do it!! Just get your plan together moving to a better area sounds like a plan, sorry not read TFT but could you move nearer to family.

I did this, moved across the world and had no home or money but i did have great family support which did make all the difference.

I did it after 23 years of abuse and 7 children. You just know when enough is enough I think. I knew it couldn't be worse than what I was living.

Yes I did this walked out with 2 children under 3 with just our clothes.
Go for it because you know you can do it.
Of course he doesn't want you to leave because you are his meal ticket.

No family at all. Hence so trapped in this mess. Estuaryblue, heartening to here you escaped. I have 18 years and five children under my belt.

@Olderandcolder I borrowed the deposit and first month's rent from friends, and used charity shops to furnish our new home. Friends also helped me out by giving me their spare things. It was a mammoth decision, but the first night of just us in our (chaotic!) new place was like being let out of prison. Every good wish to you.

Suggest you speak to your housing association and also your local authority housing options team to see if you can get him out or be offered a secure tenancy elsewhere. Good luck op it sounds like you need a fresh start.

I did. Moved out with 4 month old dd, our clothes and that was pretty much it.

Was tough for a year or so. Moved back to my mums. Found a job (had left mine as mum lived 70 miles away), saved up and got a private rented property.

It's doable. Not easy but doable.