I've recently been meeting up with an ex of mine, we dated briefly 6-7 years ago when I was quite young and have stayed friends since then.
After him I went out with an emotionally abusive arsehole who was awful to me, but at the beginning of the relationship I fancied him so much and sex was great etc.
Me and awful ex broke up a year ago, and I've started chatting to nice ex again. He is just so so lovely, caring and kind, funny, interesting. He's everything I'd want in a partner and as a dad and I really want to settle down and have kids (nearly 30 now).
However I'm not sure there's much of a sexual spark. Objectively he's a good looking guy and I find his personality very attractive but we attempted to move things out of the friend zone last night and it was all a bit...meh. Should I try again? If I stick with it is there a chance that the attraction spark will grow? I used to fancy him 6 years ago but not as much as I have other boyfriends.
To be totally transparent in the past I have been a bit shallow and been really into gorgeous men who were nasty or commitment phobic etc. and I'm trying to break that pattern. This guy is the opposite of my abusive ex in every way and we've been friends for so long that I know 100% he's a great guy.
I guess I'm just wondering if you've been in this situation how did it pan out, and did your attraction to your partner's personality lead to a deep physical attraction too? Can you break the pattern of needing that initial huge spark and just learn to love the whole person instead?