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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mismatched sex drives

4 replies

mammamia91 · 26/08/2017 23:01

So basically, after being with my DP for only a few months DD was conceived unexpectedly, we had strong feelings for each other so decided to make a go of it, the pregnancy brought us closer together and I love him a lot.

However, for the last few months of my pregnancy, as I got bigger and DD started moving around a lot more DP went right off sex which I struggled with but understood as I know this can be quite normal. And I hoped things would improve after DD was born, who is now 8 months old. This hasn't been the case and it has now got to the point where weeks go by with absolutely nothing and this just doesn't seem to bother him. I have tried to talk to him several times about how much this bothers me so he is aware of it, yet nothing changes and I am getting to the point where I feel like it isn't going to. The last couple of times we've DTD I have felt almost as though he has done it just to stop me going on about it which is obviously awful. I'm really struggling with this and frequently get upset about it and feel as though it's turning me into an insecure version of myself that I really don't like. Not really sure where to go from here.

OP posts:
BadHatter · 26/08/2017 23:18

Are you still "bigger"?

mammamia91 · 26/08/2017 23:26

I didn't mean bigger as in fatter, I meant as my bump got bigger. But yeah I probably am a bit heavier than I was before I had her, I was tiny before I fell pregnant. I have asked him whether this has anything to do with it and he assures me not but obviously I don't know if he just doesn't want to hurt my feelings by admitting this.

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 27/08/2017 00:17

Is he affectionate towards you? Kiss, cuddles and hugs?

Ultimately if you can't get him to be all in and you feel he's performing just to shut you up, then you need to think if you want to stay with him.

I think you need to tell him, that you don't feel he really wants it and it feels forced, lessening your enjoyment. As such you're considering the future of this relationship if things don't change.

Then have a mental timeline to see how things go. Don't initiate in that duration.... Then at the end you'll know where you stand and what you need to do.

HelenaDove · 27/08/2017 00:27

WOW Blaming it on the womans weight in the second post. Must be a record..........its the quickest ive seen it.

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