Drawing the line - dh's female friends

[nowornever]

Quite a few threads here recently about what's ok and not ok between your dh/dp and other women. How do you know when a friendship is OK and how do you know when it's stepped over the line? what's acceptable to you between your dh and a woman (where/when/how often/doing what) and what's not?

interesting q

i guess it depends on the level of security you feel in your relationship and how much you can trust

dp doesn't have any close female friends (that i know of) he works with a lot of women and until recently was working with a woman who he was seeing before he was with me which felt uncomfortable for me but it is his work so i made no deal about it and i trust him

also if they were close friends before you got together then i guess you would know and choose to be involved with them or not at that point

It is rather something that everyone sorts out for themselves. But if you are the sort of paranoid monogamy-mad bunny boiler who won't let your partner speak to any member of the appropriate gender under pensionable age, then that might just be the rreason why your partnerships don't last very long. (Note: using 'you' as generic Anybody rather than addressing any particular poster)

It has stepped over the line when they are lying about it.

Most of my friends are male and my DH is very accepting of it. But that's because I have never ever given him cause not to be. I have never been unfaithful to him and never kept secrets or told him lies.

He has both male and female friends and I always feel a little suspicious of the female ones - reason being that he has given me cause to doubt him in the past. I wouldn't try and prevent him seeing anyone but I watch very carefully to make sure he is behaving himself!

Most of Dp friends are female - i have no problem with that at all

He will know if it's stepped over the line

It is his job to know and not do it - it is not your job to manage limits

It is about trusting and setting down your own boundaries in a responsible and mature way

Speaking as someone who used to be exactly the sort of mad bunny boiler to which La Madame refers, I do rather agree with her.

I suppose if Mr Inferior were whooping it up with curvaceous young Charlotte Church clones every night I might get a bit pissed off, but frankly that is not madly likely And I'd probably be crosser about the fact that I'd be left at home and couldn't go swimming.