Aww I don't know what to do....

[bunzie]

Well hubby and I don't get on with my brother in law...his wife usually keeps her distance but it not like we have argued. They rarely visit and my hubby takes kids sometimes to visit my father in law who lives with bil and sil. She just texted me she wants to take my kids out on monday... my first impulse is to say no....dc are 18 mnths + 3.5 years....wud defo not send the youngest one... but i feel guilty for not sending older one... just thinking why couldn't she ask me knowing that I am free. they always try and exclude my hubby and i from everything... and think if i agreed to send older one, it would become one big family outing with me excluded... hubby is working that day.

I would not let my children go. She does not really know your children.
I would feel very uncomfortable giving my child to someone I dont get on with. I would be worried sick all the time my DC was out with them.
You could say you would like to come too as its your day off and see the response.

Do what makes you happiest, DC don't know Day out was on offer so just have a lovely day with them yourself instead. Sounds like an odd request anyway given the family dynamic.

Keep your response light and friendly. Thank her for the offer and say you already have plans. Would be good to see them another time, perhaps?

Even though the last sentence may not be strictly true.

No way. People can't just demand to take your children out.

So she wants to play Miss Nice Girl with your dc?
Fuck that. .

Feel like a bitch mum... not allowing my lil one to an outing... dc are being dropped at hubby aunt house this evening and she lives close by to fil... im sure the 'family' will broach the topic and convince my 3 year old to go monday and she will be well excited etc.

my bil and fil always criticising our parenting skills... my fil heart would just swell with pride seeing sil play mommy to my child.

I don't fancy going with them ... gonna be a hot day so was going to set up the paddling pool.

I haven't decided yet so was going to stall for a bit.

Look, you're her mum. It's your decision. She isn't some plaything for people you dislike. Tell them no, she won't be going. Thanks for the offer, but you're busy doing something else.

Children are not pets or playthings. I would not allow anyone to take my children out for the day if I did not like them or felt uncomfortable with them/their behaviour. And that applies to family too.

Just say you already have plans for Monday.

I wouldn't expect a child of mine to go off for a day with someone she hardly knows. The SIL asked for both children? Tell her to get lost. Tell your daughter, before she goes out, that you have plans for paddling on Monday and how much you are looking forward to it.

I've texted her that my cuz was going to drop by on monday to see the girls and i'll let her know if that is still happening. she says ok to let her know or she will drop by one evening to see my dc. well the last time she been to my house was novemberOh how annoying ppl texting me with awkward requests out of the blue. But I think this issue is resolved now somehow. She isn't malicious towards my dc... this I know for sure. thats why the guilt. But just that we aren't close and I find it weird that out of the blue she wants to play the fun aunt role. it's different if she were in and out of my house.

You say ye dont get on with bil but that doesnt have to include his wife. Maybe she feels isolated living with fil and worries the kids dont know each other. I wouldnt let them go for the day as tgey are too young but coming over for a little visit surely wont be too bad. Remember fil may be the troublemaker here. Living with inlaws is difficult so keep in mind she mmay be in victim in that set up. Unless she has done something mean and horrible.