Does your sibling 'position' determine your relationship with each parent?

[hansolosmum]

Just a theory I've been thinking about.

If you are the first child are you closer to your df and if second are you closer to your mum? (Sorry, haven't thought as far as third and beyond but would be interested to know!)

I don't mean which parent you love more if that's the case. Just which one you're closer to.

I am a second child and was closer to my dm growing up but not for any reason I can think of as I love my df dearly. My older sister had a very close relationship with my dad.

First born and waaaay closer to my Mum.. in fact, I think all 3 of us are!!

I read something about this ages ago - though I doubt it was peer reviewed research

It said that child 1 would identify more with whichever parent - then parent 2 would gravitate towards child 2, because child 1 was taken. And that it would reverse back for child 3 because parent 2 was still focused on a younger child who needed more time.

Personally I think there are too many other factors going on, but, I'm one of 5 and our parent pairing if pretty much Parent 1 with children 1,3,5 and Parent 2 with children 2,4

But it's a bit confounded with a golden child as #1 (not me ) so you could argue their place either way!

My pairing is according to the theory... (with father) but my mum had quite bad PND after me, and the timing of my father's MH breakdown meant that I spent more time with him at home at a young age than some other siblings. And I think those factors are more influential than my birth order.

I think there could be good reason for 2 children though - I suppose first round, one parent does more with a child and bonds more, whereas when the second arrives, the less dominant/involved parent has gained confidence through number one, and also has to step up more as there's more to do.

What does closer to mean? Tell more to or get on better personality wise?

I'm second born get on better with my father. My older sister does too.

I don't think so. It's about personally type and if you've got things in common, same as any relationship.

Read Dorothy Rowe on sibling order. V interesting.

When I was younger and 1st child always got on better with my dad and my sister 2nd child got on better with my mum....since my dads death I have very little contact with both my mum and sister they are so very similar and I just don't fit in....I miss my dad he was amazing

I'm an unlucky middle child and definitely at the bottom of the pecking order.

Sorry for posting and deserting!

Where this comes from is I was thinking about a friend who said that her dh isn't as keen on taking care of her younger child (just turned one) as it's more effort than the older one.

And I see some of this with my own dh and children as well. He is less tolerant of my 2-yr-old ds and seems to have forgotten that dd was just the same at that age. So I might end up having a closer relationship my son by default if that doesn't change.

But from your responses perhaps this isn't a thing. Or it is and things just change when the kids get older and are less work!

Not true for our family, all the daughters are closest to my mum, and my brother is closest to my dad. I'm a middle child and always got a decent amount of attention from both parents!