To accept this

[bellalou1234]

Hello, I'm currently on holiday with my dp of 10 years. It's just the two of us. We've been getting on ok before and during the holiday, however there is one problem.
The last time we had sex was 3 months ago and before that was a while. It's him not me I try initiate at, but he becomes quite snappy.

I've spoken to him about it and he says he just never feels in the mood. I just feel I can't live like this, it's not normal.

To me when you feel like your never in the mood, that's when you know the relationship has ran it's corse.

What shall I do?

You need to ask DP out right why he no longer wants to be intimate with you. Not feeling in the mood is not a good enough answer. There must be underlying reasons.
You also have to ask yourself do you want to stay in a sexless relationship?

Thank you! I know depression or something could be a reason but I don't think he is depressed.

I know when we first met he mentioned is ex and lack of sex on his part, I now feel like her.

I don't want to stay I'm in my thirties, really wish this holiday was over.

He says he's just not in the mood. I don't think he needs a Spanish inquisition on why he's not up for it. You just nerd to let him know a relationship with such little intimacy isn't one you can stay in and you're looking to end the relationship.

That should be need to

Don't waste more time.

You could ask him to see his doctor about it.

When did the decline start and was it ever really good?

If he's not in the mood on holiday he's never going to be is he? And he doesn't seem concerned about reassuring you or trying to put things right. I would call it a day and it sounds like you're ready for that.

Yeah you need to have a conversation asking why he doesn't feel he wants to have sex anymore

Thanks for all of your replies. I know I'm the bottom of my heart I need to end it and move on, I don't want to be here 5 years from now.

Things used to be really good. He had a vasectomy 2 years ago and it's since then.

There's not even any intimacy at all, I might as well be on holiday alone he's either in his phone or watching things on tablet!

I agree if it doesn't happen on holiday it never will.

I ended a marriage because of this. We looked 'good' to the outside world. When I explained my reasons to friends people looked at me as though I were mad.
I've really struggled since as a singhle parent with disabilities, low income etc but I would never return to that empty , depressing, soul destroying sexless marriage. I would honestly prefer to be on my own than share a bed with someone who doesn't want to touch me.

I know jelly, i would rather sleep alone then be with someone who can't bear to touch me, same as you we look like everything's fine to the outside world.

My friends talk about their partners and how they always want sex, and I just sit quietly embarrassed. Then get angry at the situation.

Bless your heart, yes it's horrible when people talk about their spicy shenanigans and you sit there thinking 'whatsoever wrong with me?'
I also know lots of couples who just don't have sex and agent for years and just accept it.
Everyone is different, personally I can't live like that but maybe in a different scenario I could.

I feel your pain.....there is no easy answer. However, I do think he should be willing to discuss the situation calmly and honestly with you not just say that he's 'not in the mood'.
Then at least yo can make an informed choice about whether or not you want to stay with him.

Have you tried to talk about it before? Does he reassure you at all?

Yes I've tried many a time, very dismissive, no reassurance. He has said maybe if I tried more, e.g. Coming in wearing stockings suspenders ect, but that's not me.

But hasn't tried that one in a while.

Has he had his testosterone levels checked? If they are low, his sex drive will be nonexistent.

No but I'm going to ask him. Thank you everyone! I thought u was loosing my mind x