My mum is the definition of a Narcissist and scores high on the psychopath spectrum. She is nasty, manipulative and competitive with me over stupid shallow materialistic things that I don't care about. She is purposefully and consciously this way. She was also an alcoholic and was a disgusting one. While drunk she messaged men who abused me as a child. When I was pregnant she came to me at 3am and told me that she could have taken one of my rapists from childhood to court but chose not to and gave me a mild sorry while walking away. All I ever wanted growing up was justice that hurt me more then anything. When I asked her about it the next morning she screamed at me. I could write a book about my sociopathic mother and her physical and verbal abuse of myself and my brother. I want to make it really clear my mum is not a nice person, this isn't me misunderstanding her. Me an my brother (he's only a year older) have vivid memories of her dragging him around the floor as early as 4years old (apparently it's traditional discipline, she would never ever acknowledge that she abused us.) she used to keep us from going to school and teach us to lie to the teachers. Never helped with homework. Would leave us locked in the house by ourselves as young as 3yo while she was shagging her bf in the house my dad gave her. Used to make me wait in the car while she cheated on this boyfriend with some other guy. my bro and I have both suffered severe depression and anxiety due to the low self esteem her abuse gave us. Someone walked in on me trying to hang myself a few years after I left home. Everything felt black and I never felt nurtured. Since that I changed and turned my life around and started looking after myself and my mum too when she needs it...
She stopped drinking lately because she had an intense operation. I had to help her with everything as she could barely walk. We've had a nice couple of months together but as she's started to improve in health I can see her slipping into her normal ways. She's cruel to me and it's effecting who I am along with bringing back dark memories. I am considering leaving her here and moving far away from her (as the rest of the family have done) she has a husband but he's just her wallett basically. It might seem an obvious decision to just leave her be but she has health issues and no friends, it's worrying, she is alone all of the time.
I have a 22month old girl and I worry about the emotional pain that seeing my mum causes me because my LO is completely dependant on my emotional energy and strength. I'm not sure what is a right and kind decision to make in this situation. My tenancy runs out in October, I'm in talks with a letting agent about a beautiful place and its a perfect opportunity but it's far away from my ill mum. She doesn't know about this yet, I've been waiting on myself to make a decision