How do you know if you are over someone?

[AlexandraHamilton]

I had a good friend that I fell for but it wasn't reciprocated. On my instigation we agreed we wouldn't be in touch again until I had worked through my feelings and at point could be friends again. He said the door is always open to me so the ball is in my court.

I don't want to get back in touch prematurely but do want to be friends again - I miss the friendship. I just don't know though how you know when you are over someone.

How do you know? In the past for me it has usually been when I have someone else in my head or are indifferent to them, but in those situations I haven't wanted to be friends again so it is a little easier to know. I think I am, but don't know without seeing him again.

I had one a few years ago when I saw an ex on the bus and realised my heart didn't speed up at all, but that was different as he was awful and breaking NC was never an option.

What a-ha moments have you had?

I could have written your post OP. An old friend came back into my life unexpectedly and it was like fireworks went off. The connection was amazing and my feelings were way beyond friendship. Crazy, as we had been best friends years before with no romantic feelings at all.
We realised at the time this was happening that it was more about where we were in our own lives and that the friendship we had shared had created a level of connection that our brains (and bodies ) had misconstrued. We backed off and went NC.
A couple of years later we reconnected, things soon went the same way but this time it was just me. I was aware that we really aren't meant to be a couple. We are really good as besties but that is the only way it can work. I asked him to give me space so that my heart could catch up with my head. He has and it took a couple of months but I'm there now.
I know that I am over it this time because I actually don't really mind whether we are friends in the future again or not. I have good memories of our friendship but I'm happy to leave it there. A few months ago I thought I would never say that.

That's so useful Miss. Are you friends again now? I got so much support from him I'm having trouble unpicking things from a distance

You're over him when you can look him in the eye and feel fine. Not hurt or disappointed or excited.

It can take a long time to get there so be kind to yourself.

You're over him when you are happy to see him dating other people.