Hello, I'm new to mumsnet and need help!
I'm 35 and have been married for 2 years (together for 7) my DH is nearly 48.
He is a lovely husband and I love him. He is very kind and yesterday sent me flowers as I was off work sick. He helps around the house and we take good care of each other and I trust him.
So... we've had sex 3 times this year and last year it was 5 so it is getting less. When we met and before we got married it was regular, exciting and spontaneous.
Now the last 3 times we have had sex he only seemed interested in bed with the lights out. And one time I know he only did it because he knew I was feeling sad. (he pretty much implied that and I felt broken)
He is gaining weight but this bothers him and not me.
I still fancy him and I love him but I feel so lonely, unnatractive and undesirable. It's got to the point where I feel awkward naked infront of him when I dress for work etc. It feels like I'm naked infront of my friend.
He comes to bed really late and I think he is avoiding me and/or sex. He sometimes jokingly touches me and giggles but I know it won't go anywhere so I don't respond. I think that's his way of reassuring me but it makes me feel worse.
I have spoken to him about it once before and I told him how I felt and he looked really upset and said he still loved me and fancied me and apologised. He said he would try harder. We still haven't had sex.
I think he knows it's a problem, there's a slight awkward atmosphere but he seems to be avoiding it. I'm really concerned that he's just not interested in sex and this would be a problem as I am! If he's not interested I'm terrified I could potentially have a divorce on my hands. He is lovely in every way and this would be devastating for us both. I would never be unfaithful but I find myself looking at other men as I'm craving physical contact and I feel upset with myself for doing this as my eyes have never wondered since I met him. I'm crying a lot on my own and don't like to look at my body anymore whereas before I liked my appearance naked wobbly bits and all!
Is anyone else having the same problems?
Any advice from experience would be