How long did your divorce take?

[thefalloutwillbeawful]

Now that I have finally got the courage (from I don't know where) to start divorce proceedings, I realise that the whole thing is going to be incredibly slow! So months and months not to say years of being estranged from H but living in the same house, and months and months of wondering whether I am making the right decision and worrying about everything. Months and months of feeling like the bitch from hell because I am the one driving this H apparently wanting to ignore me and/or treat me like an emotional punchbag, but stay married.

And tonight I can't sleep.

Hi, I started divorce proceedings a month ago. I've been told it will take between 4-6 months, so I'm hoping it will all be sorted by Christmas!
It is very hard when you are the one instigating the divorce but keep that courage going and it will get easier I promise. I hope you managed to get some sleep in the end.

Thanks aleto. It was after 3.00 am in the end and now I am wondering if the latte from Pret in the afternoon really was decaf.

Sorry you are going through the same thing. 4 to 6 months sounds OK (depending on the circumstances I suppose). I think mine will take longer as so far H has sarcastically told me to "carry on" and also that I should "grow up", and has ignored 2 emails from me as well as 4 from my solicitor, over a period of more than two months. So I have now filed for divorce and made an application for a financial order and the solicitor has also written to him to tell him about this. Reiterating again that I am up for a constructive dialogue and for the whole thing to be settled via a consent order. Not sure what H will do now. I think he will argue every step of the way as the stakes for him are high. The whole thing is awful for both of us really, but I stand to possibly gain some autonomy depending on how it goes. He will also try to hide stuff I think (and has hidden property in the past). I realise now that the long drawn out divorce process gives the other person so much warning that they have ample time to do that.

10 months from beginning to end which I thought was quite quick. My ex wouldn't cooperate and offered me 50k to fuck off from a 4M equity pot. A judge decided our settlement, there was no other way it would have happened otherwise. Cost me 39k in fees, which makes my eyes water today.

39K

[faints]

Hilarious that your ex wanted you to have 50K Blottie. 10 months sounds okay. I think I could handle 10 months.

Don't know though, there's a sense that things are about to get confrontational.

And am dreading the sadness at eventually not being a full time part of the dcs' lives anymore.

3 months!! Did it all myself x

Around three months but we already had the legal separation/financial settlement/childcare arrangements, etc. agreed up front. If you are starting from scratch it will take longer, especially if there is any 'debate'.

Just about to start mine, been separated for 2.5 years and been saving to pay for the divorce as H refuses to pay. Should be straight forward though as we have no money to sort out, no house and I have the kids, I'm hoping it will only take 4-6 months.

Mine was almost a year to the day. His lovers baby arrived about 24 hours before our Absolute came through !!
We are now going to court to fight over the money. It seems endless and the pain and stress is hideous.
At least I don't have to see him anymore which is one thing!
Good luck x

Thanks for your messages. It all feels surreal and as if I am being a horrible person - despite the real reasons why this is happening.

The really hard bits are yet to come.

5 years for me.
But it was extreme circumstances.
But I got there eventually.

I really hope that you get it sorted out quickly.

5 months.

Separation can be quick. But please don't rush to divorce without a final financial order. My actual divorce took a couple of years because of this (!) but it means that there can never be any dispute, particularly upon either of us remarrying, DCs leaving home, etc.

But please don't rush to divorce without a final financial order.

No I won't. The plan is to do the finances at the same time. So I think it will take ages.

Mine was nearly 2 years but it was like lineysrun earlier in the thread, I had to make sure all the financial settlement was sorted before we could divorce.
The financial side was the hard bit and my exh was awkward every step of the way making the time it took so much longer than it needed to be.
I got there in the end though and so will you.
Good luck

Yes, good luck. It's a somewhat rocky path at times, but you can do this. And remember, it's the process that is awful, not necessarily the people involved.

So if there's no finances to sort, not assets and no custody of kids is it easy just to do the divorce without a solicitor? I am in the process of filling out the forms, straight forward divorce as I stated above. Should it be pretty quick if I do it myself? I'm unsure if I need a solicitor, I just want it done and dusted

First divorce, three months, we agreed everything. Second 3 years, he was a cunt.

2 years 7 months. Ex is a narc and it went all the way to final hearing.

I am sorry goldenorb . I think that that's what is also going to happen to me.

Batshit - were you happy with your settlement?

5 years he just didn't do anything, ignored or lost paperwork. 15K it will have cost me. DA due any day.