Hi lovely people,
I'm in a very emotionally draining relationship, part of me wants to leave and part of me wants to stay ( probably out of habit ). We have been together six years, we have a daughter together who is 2 and my son who is 16.
Our main arguments are regarding my son (he has autism), he never seems to be happy with him, yes my son is hard work but it's if my OH doesn't accept his disabilities. He makes constant minor digs everyday and it's getting petty. He keeps telling me I'm too soft on him and he's gonna rule the house by the time he's 18. My son is a typical teen but he protects me more than anything even if he is rebellious every now and then but he's a decent kid.
The other cause of concern is the way he is, he wasn't like this at first but I guess it's a case of showing his true colours. I don't feel respected and he is so insecure he becomes rude and disrespectful, I will not tolerate this. His OCD with cleaning and tidying drives me insane, he drops remarks that I don't do anything which gets my back up as I don't stop when I'm home from work. He'll then come home and notice something small that's not been done and all hell breaks loose. He tells me he loves me all the time and if I don't respond to messages or posts, he gets the hump, even if it's not a post with a question. He's forever telling all on social media how much he loves me......hang on why do this? If he's capable of talking to me like shit.
I stayed at my friends house the other week as four of us went out, we do this so we can drink and have a laugh, it was for my birthday. Since then all he keeps saying is that he has a spot come up and it's from a disease he caught from me cos god knows what I got up to Saturday night, he then said all of us probably had a man back!! I was really cross but he then tries to say it's a joke but I know he means it. Everything he says that I don't agree with is apparently a joke and I can't take a joke, I'm being over sensitive.
His constant need for intimacy is worrying and the fact he insults me (yes he says it's a joke) specifically saying I'm frigid when I'm not, I'm actually a human being who is normal and tired. The fact that I only work 8.5 hour days where he does 12 is a massive difference, NOT. I'm the one that has 90% of our toddlers care so he can shove it.
The issue I'm having is dealing with the potential upset this will cause the family. We own our house together, I'm the bread winner (which he hates), however I couldn't afford childcare fees if he left and if he gets somewhere he couldn't afford them either.
It's a mess but I have to do something, I have never known anyone worse than victor meldrew but he's here and living in our house!! My dad believes there is something wrong with him cos he moans about the same thing over and over until you just have to walk away.
Where can I get help from? Yes I am scared to leave but I can't go on like this
Thanks xx