Police won't process evidence for DNA

[Fladerdricka]

No point in reporting is there?

I should feel relived about being able to move forward and put this all behind me. Not having to worry about all the reasons I was putting off reporting (no police interview, cross examination, likelihood of prosecution and conviction).

Instead I feel worse than I've had since it all happened

Sorry OP if I have misunderstood but it sounds like you haven't actually made a official report to the police. You need to report it and they need to take a statement before they can submit the clothing for forensic examination. If you don't do this then they don't actually know what it is they're looking for ( e.g. Evidence of 1 man, 2 men etc). They won't exam them speculatively because there is a cost involved and they won't be able to justify the expenditure for something which hasn't been reported. Forgive me if I've misunderstood your post.

PS if the samples have been stored appropriately there's no reason why they can still be submitted

Was it someone you know or a stranger? Not as though it makes much difference. You have evidence which is the main thing. My case didn't get to court because the man in question was my partner and there was no DNA evidence, I did report it, I went though questioning but the case was dropped. I went through the worrying about if he does it to someone else but I did all I could, it will be on record that a alagation was made. Do what's best for you, going to court won't be easy but because you have DNA evidence chances are you won't have to show your face in court and might even be able to appear through video link.

Someone I knew for a few weeks.

I went to a sexual assault centre. I gave a statement to the Dr doing the examination so she could decide which swabs, clothing to take.

Everything was sent to police anonymously. I even met anonymously with a police officer to discuss what would happen next.

They decided not to test because even if they find his DNA he will claim it was consensual so it will be my word against his. Their decision about testing won't change even if I report it.

I have messages from him admitting what he did but using the 'just got into it' excuse. To make it worse I saw him again after the first time it happened (I think I was in denial about what he did). I only went to the clinic after the second time.

I feel like I'll put myself through the nightmare of having to relieve it when I just want to forget it, with only worse PTSD to show for it. In the meantime my child will be living with a parent who's not keeping it together.

I think I can live with the guilt of not reporting better than reporting, destroying any mental health I have left and nothing happening.

Thinking about being questioned makes me feel sick. I don't want to relieve it all again.

You are in need of care from professionals such as rape crisis, please contact them and don't go through this alone. Post here and speak to your friends but please get some support they understand the steps that need to be taken and can give emotional support as well.

rapecrisis.org.uk/centres.php

Flad you need to deal with it how you feel best. I chose to draw a line under it after the charges were dropped, I went to one counselling sessions but felt it was just making it all last even longer. People deal with things in different ways. I was interviewed by the police, it wasn't notice but they were great and very understanding but if you don't feel you can do this then don't, your own mental health is more important than anything. Things do get easier, I am 8 months since I gave my statement to the police, I have bad days and good days but the bad days are getting less and less and I feel stronger. I needed to put my dc's first and carry on for them.

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied. It helps to know that someone cares.

I spoke with Rape Crisis and they suggested speaking with the sexual assault clinic to clarify what the police said and then speaking with an advocate to discuss my options.
So that's what I'll do.

Lovemusic did you report immediately after it happened?

Flader, no I didn't, it was a classic case of me being in a relationship with him and him telling me it wouldn't happen again , the relationship went downhill from there, he got more abusive, eventually I asked him to leave. The police got involved as I had to report him as a missing person after he threatened suicide, I was then asked the question 'was he ever abusive?'. I was advised to get advice from the local rape crisis team who were brilliant and turned up at my house within hours of me calling them, I was advised to press charges to protect my children, I was advised to go to a woman's refuge but I refused as it was Christmas and my dd's have sn's. I had to wait days for the police to find him and arrest him, during this tame he was texting me begging me to take him back. The police were brilliant and they advised me to press charges for harassment as they knew the rape charges would be dropped, they wanted to make sure they could get him for something so an injunction could be placed on him to keep me safe. It was a very stressful time, he was questioned on 3 accounts of rape and 2 sexual assault but because there was no evedence (no DNA, no witenesses) and because I had not reported it at the time, it stood no chance in court.

I have moved on the best I can, I had a bad couple of months where I hit rock bottom but now I'm in a good place. Things get easier but it takes time.

I have spoken to a woman recently who is in a similar position to you, she was raped by someone she knew on a night out, she had DNA evidence but because she had been drinking the charges were dropped on the ground that she was drunk and could have consented. She is devastated as he walks free and could do it again. It's a story I hear so much and it's so wrong , sadly rape is a hard crime to prove as in most cases it's your word against there's, no witnesses and often no DNA evidence. It makes me so angry and sad that so many men get away with it.

I think you should report it, even if it gets to court you can always back out if it's too much to cope with. The important thing is that it's logged with the police if someone else one day comes forward and says he did the same to them, then there will be more chance of a conviction.

Sorry I didn't come back to the thread. It just got too much to constantly think about it. I decided to put the police aspect aside and focus on my recovery for now but I wanted to thank you for your time and support

I did post previously but then never revisited the thread. If I had I'd have told you (as a police officer) that they 100% would not have made a decision about testing the samples at that stage and would have taken a full report from you and arrested and interviewed him, plus considered the other evidence like the text messages. They may well have ended up testing the samples but they would only have been one bit of evidence in a case where they may have actually had some good evidence to support your case (text messages, previous reports about him etc). I'm glad you're moving on and pleased to read your update but just wanted to let you know either you misunderstood or were given incorrect information