Should I bin my boyfriend?

[wanderlust56]

Hi everyone!

So recently I've been having some doubts about the relationship I'm in, and I'm wondering whether I have grounds to end it, or see if I can stick it out and try and iron out the creases :(

I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now (not long I know) but I've just gotten to the point where I'm not sure if it's worth the hassle anymore. He's never been a very talkative guy but recently this is starting to really get on my nerves. I am always the one to text him first and he never makes the effort to even send me a text to ask how my day is going!! It's always me having to ask him how his day is going and what he's up to. He's also one for ignoring my texts outright and leaving them on "read", which I've told him in the past bugs me, but he doesn't seem to care, he still does it!

He's also not very good with helping me with some struggles I've been having (I have some mental health problems) but whenever I ask him to be more empathetic with me about this, he just brushes it off and calls my moods "annoying" instead because he says he "doesn't know what to say to me" to not start an argument.

Also, he still hasn't told his parents that we're dating and he never makes the effort to come up and see me (we live about 2 hours away from eachother by car). He says he's too scared to meet my parents and won't tell his parents about me because he doesn't want them "interrogating him"!

At the moment I just really feel like I'm putting in all the effort and I'm not getting anything back, whenever I bring up problems we're having he wants to iron them out but never shows me any support or improvement in anything. I feel like the only way I can get him to want me and fight for me is by giving him an ultimatum but I don't know any other way to make him understand that I'm hurt.

Please let me know your thoughts and don't be afraid to speak your minds, I'd really like some honest opinions! Thanks :)

I'm still not sure if I can end it with him :'( If I'm not with him I'm not sure I'd be able to find anyone else who I'm so comfortable around

I think you've got it backwards. You can end it. It's just a choice to make.

If you stay with him, you are far less likely to find some one who values you and treats you with respect because you'll be wasting your time and energy on someone who clearly doesn't.

You can do better. Really.

Yes you should bin him.

Have you met his friends? Because the fact he won't introduce you to his parents and doesn't respond to messages sounds more like it's because no one has been told about you, and he's with other people. I could be wrong, but I had an ex like this.

Can't any positives in this relationship. You shouldn't be so unhappy 4 months in. Sounds like a LOT of work and he actually sounds like he could add to any mh issues you have.

If you stopped contacting him, how long would it take him to notice?

It doesn't seem like a good relationship

I don't know why you're so invested as it's only been 4 months. Get rid of him and find someone better suited to you

You seem to be way over invested after only 4 months.

This really isn't a relationship though. If it making you frown more than smile, end it.

He may have another gf or wife where he lives hence the lack of exposure to his life.

I was facing this decision last jan 2016 and he dumped me! Like you it was great when we were together but when we werent i didnt feel connected. I knew that it was a series of good dates. Deep down i knew that. The connection required to make a relationship easy just wasnt there.

Dont worry about the parents thing tho. I will never introduce anybody to my parents but that wont mean they arent important to me.

The fact you are posting here and asking this question only 4 months in means you know exactly what you need to do.
So do it!

He's not that into you.

He's probably seeing other people as well.

Bin

Judge him by his actions, not his words! No way should it be this difficult 4 months in.

Wander - I don't know how old you are but I had mental health issues (anxiety & depression) when I was in my 20s - and I too was in a relationship that wasn't great. It really did help me no end when I freed myself from that and took some time to look after me - nothing else to worry about, no stressing about when he will text, if he cares etc. It's so not worth it

I can empathise too much with your post hun. My bf is the bloody same. When it's him the world stops with me, even just talking or trying to have a conversation and I'm accused of going on, moaning or having a go at him. All he does is sit on his phone all day playing games.

Your four months in and you have written on an anonymous online forum asking whether you should continue. That tells you everything. If you felt you wanted to continue, you wouldn’t have written.

Zombie thread! 🧟‍♀️

OP. Being very kind and gentle here. 6 months is the very general rule of thumb on the 'love' mark.

You are being used. Get Out. Stay. Out. (GOSO). Then a firm No Contact (NC)

You are already being devalued. This tends to point to what he is.

The works of HG Tudor will help. Narcsite.com