Is it normal to feel so drained after a breakup?

[FlyingSoloFlyingFree]

My 20 year marriage recently broke up, a joint decision because it just wasn't working any more. H has moved out leaving me here with DC and things are fairly civilised between us.

It's for the best but I didn't expect to feel how I do now it's finally happened. I'm sleeping OK but never wake up feeling refreshed and by 8/9 in the evening I'm exhausted and ready for bed. I do have a fairly full-on job (although I enjoy it) and obviously there's more to do round here now but surely I shouldn't feel so wiped out?

In addition I just feel really apathetic - can't be arsed with anything, know I need to start eating better and getting some exercise but it all feels like too much effort.

I wanted this and was looking forward to having my own space and building a new life but now it's come to it I just feel a bit meh. I don't regret what's happened but I can't seem to feel very positive about the future either.

Is this to be expected at the end of a long term relationship or am I just a bit rubbish at coping?

I think this is normal - in some respects you're grieving, even if you agreed to it happening, you're still missing something you once knew and that's hard. Remember the end of a marriage is one of life's biggest stressors. You don't have to be ok, you don't have to be doing amazing, you just have to get by for a while. What would you say to a friend in your position? You'd urge her to be gentle with herself, do things that nurtured her body and soul, and take it one day at a time.

To be expected.

In fact much better than many people!

It's a massive change, even if it is what you want, feeling 'a bit meh' is great. I'd say it was normal to be a complete mess TBH even if it was what you wanted to happen and what was right for everyone.

Thanks, I just feel so rubbish - know I need to be kind to myself but just want to eat crap and hide under the covers :(. Vicious circle of course because then I feel even worse .

It's normal. Also it could be adrenal fatigue

Completely normal! I think it's your body's way of recuperating. Although you may not realise it fully, you will have been under enormous stress for a long, long time before your marriage finally ended.

Be kind to yourself. Just accept it and understand that you and your body need to rest.

That's interesting about adrenal fatigue, just Googled it - had no idea it was a thing but makes some sense.

Ashwaghanda - from health shop for adrenal fatigue. Wonderful stuff!