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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lost confidence

3 replies

isitjustme2017 · 23/08/2017 20:20

I'm sure this is normal but I seem to have lost confidence in myself since my 16year relationship ended 5 months ago. I ended the relationship and don't regret it.
Even though it's still very early days, I do crave some male attention although I know it's too soon to start a relationship.
I have no confidence in my body anymore even though I'm getting really fit and working out loads and all I can think is "I'm 41 with 2 kids, who is going to be interested". I started chatting to a guy on Facebook who is 39, single with no kids and I just keep thinking "he will want kids, not someone too old to have any". Even when I go out, if I get chatted up I keep thinking "wait until he hears how old I am and that I have 2 kids"... The thought of actually dating again petrifies me.

OP posts:
jeaux90 · 23/08/2017 21:57

Then don't date yet. You don't have to. It's quite early days. I would focus on you for a while longer. Get yourself back in love with you. See friends, focus on work, get fit or whatever it is you feel like you may have lost your way on a bit.

The dating thing. I'm a single mum, 45, didn't date for ages, didn't want to. Got super comfortable again in my own company, took a few years off relationships. Met someone last year. All good but I felt like I was ready to. And for the record most men I have met admire me for being a single mum contrary to what you think.

Sometimes we or our friends put us under pressure to "get back out there" when really it might not be the best thing at that time.

On the other hand you might really enjoy it! Either way go with the way you feel. X

thisfamily · 23/08/2017 22:02

Do things that you have not done in a long time. Join the meetup and make new friends. It will boost your confidence.

isitjustme2017 · 23/08/2017 22:16

Thank you! I know loads of guys wouldn't be phased by the kids but it's just my mindset at the moment. I suppose I'm scared life is passing me by. God I sound like I'm 60 not 41....

OP posts:
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