Hello.
I'm trying not to give too much detail as this could be outing but I really need to know that I did the right thing.
Basically, friend is in a horribly abusive relationship (verbal, mental, occasionally physical like pushes etc)
Agression is very regular and verbal abuse towards the children too (one of whom is only young)
I have tried everything to help her, even got as far as getting her to a refuge but she didn't go in the end as eldest dc didn't want to leave (12yo)
She started counselling but stopped after a couple of sessions telling me that the therapist didn't think he was abusive (which I know isn't true at all)
She totally blames herself for his anger saying that she's difficult to live with and that if she stays placid and tries not to bother him (and encourages the kids not to disturb or annoy him) then she can manage him and his anger etc.
She insists that he's a great dad and a good man etc etc, which I believe is a common thing for abused women to say.
I have spent hours and hours over the years supporting and informing her about abusive men, the cycle of abuse, giving her books etc to try to help her see but everything goes in one ear and out the other.
The straw that has finally broken the camels back so to speak is that she is due multiple babies in a few weeks time and is in such a state mentally too.
She is very depressed, is in therapy but isn't telling them anything about the abuse at all.
I am genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of her and the babies once they're born as so much of his anger is because he wants peace to do his own thing and doesn't want to participate in family life unless it's on his terms.
Babies don't care about that, I fear she will struggle hugely with little to no support and depression to boot.
This is not a good environment to bring newborns into.
I finally realised that she was never going to leave when someone offered her and the children a very affordable house in her area of preference but she refused it because she didn't want to break up the family.
She has always begged me not to report him to anyone because she can't see the damage he's doing to her children. She thinks only she is affected by his abuse and I've always kept that promise.
Until today.
I'm just off the phone to the domestic abuse helpline and have told them my concerns.
They were horrified by what I told them.
I asked to remain anonymous but she might guess it was me.
They said they will call her for a "follow up chat" regarding the last time she was there and go from there.
I honestly am worried that if I kept quiet I would see her or one of the babies on the news one day despite her trying to reassure me otherwise.
I realise this is going to add to her stress and feel terrible about it.
Please tell me I did the right thing.
Sorry this is so long I'm just trying to make sense of it all and not feel so guilty.