Having to forgive and forget..

[Tryittheotherway]

Anyone that has forgiven a partner for any type of betrayal do you ever have days where you just think about it, and it really pisses you off still and you wander wtf your doing, and if there is anything else you still don't know/Haven't found out about,

Me and my partner are in a good place at the moment I'd say, but then I have days where I just think about what he did and how could he of done it.

Am I obviously not over it or does everyone have these types of feelings sometimes?

I don't want him to come home from work and not knowing if I'm going to have one on me about what happened but I can't help sometimes randomly hating him!

All normal reactions OP, what he has done is cause your mistrust, that probably won't every go away now, you have to decide if it's worth carrying on and carrying the resentment of what he has done; in time it will lessen but of course you will never forget; I'd also advice to not trust him 100% anymore, he's lost that right now.

How long since the revelation?
These reasons are all part of why I couldn't forgive and I knew damn well that I'd certainly never ever forget.
I always admire people who work at things.
It's a tougher road by far IMHO.
Have you had counselling for yourself?
That might help?

It went on this time last year when we had a break apart he was still coming round staying most nights etc, knew something was up, but I got told I was being stupid etc, one night I decided to go on his phone I seen a picture of a girl on a dating website that he'd screenshotted, I brought it up to him he said a friend sent it to him on whatsapp where pics automatically save.

I left it there, obviously it was still bugging me. I'd watch him on his phone and feel paranoid, I felt horrible, I was being told nothing had happened it was all in my head, I take medication for a condition I have and in the end I went to my doctor and told him how paranoid I felt and got taken of them, during this time we argued me being paranoid and him threatening to leave saying he can't do it, it was vile, id wake in the morning with horrible anxiety, treading on egg shells.

Then earlier this year I went on his phone again, had a proper look and went through old messages with one of his close friends, he'd sent him screen shots of conversations he was having with a girl on a dating website who he knew, she asked why he was single, and he called me mental. This was while we were on a brief break.

I went and asked him if he was on the dating website, he repeatedly lied to my face until I said I've seen it on your phone that you were! I was fuming but also so upset how he lead me on those months where I thought I was mentally ill when really I was right and he was up to something.

He was on the website while we had a brief break, but lied and lied when we were back together when I found out. I'll never know if he met or slept with anyone.

Well I'd not invest any more in this guy OP; I think he's been fishing about not just when you are on a break; he doesn't even have the decency to be transparent, you have no idea; I'd end it on that basis, the fact he has zero respect for you never mind being committed to someone.