Should I find my dad?

[Daddyissuescliche]

I wonder if I could get some advice please from people who have dealt with similar. NC of course as it's quite outing but I post here daily.

My mum and dad split up before I was born. I don't know the details because my mum died before I fit to ask her.

I have a big maternal family who have always looked after me and whilst I grew up very poor, I was well loved and very well cared for.

I'm nearly 40 and I have recently started thinking about looking for him.

The thing is, I don't know what for, I think it's just to satisfy curiosity. I'm a professional, own my home, my husband and I are very happy and I'm not looking for a 'dad' or 'support' from him.

I suppose I just want to know how he could do what he did. I don't even feel really angry but I am confused. I know men leave their children all the time so it's not uncommon. I just don't understand it I suppose.

I know this is a bit of a ramble - truth is I don't really know what I'm asking but any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for sharing Thunder - that does help.

My mum was always very open and said whenever I felt the need I could ask her but I never did until after she died.

Just to add that I went into the search with my expectations being that the outcome could be that he did not want anything to do with me. I also had fantastic support from my DH. Good luck with whatever you decide.

No advice but if you do decide to look for him there is a Facebook page called Aussie & UK angels who are fantastic at finding people. I'm sending hugs, and hopefully you'll find the final piece of the puzzle? Xx

Hi OP
I have been in a similar situation with tracing my bio dad needless to say i finally met him when i was 18
i always had this idea growing up, that he would welcome me with open arms and i would feel complete, but i was very disappointed he didnt want his new family knowing about me and i never saw him again. What i didnt factor in was that he was a stranger to me and i to him.

I guess my advice is to get as much support around you as you can, and keep an open mind :)
I wish you the best of luck

My brother tracked down our dad, he wasn't interested and stated clearly he didn't want the contact. Shortly afterwards he developed a terminal illness and then suddenly became interested. I didn't get involved and had no desire to offer care to this old man who was a stranger to us.

The medical history is a bit of a red herring imo. My dad was in his 80,s. I'm not sure how relevant or accurate his parents health was. Things were medically very different back then.