So my partner and I split last December after 20 years. We'd been in troubled waters for about 6/7 years. Basically, the infrequent sex finally stopped, as I always knew it would. His 'decision'. Me confused and hurt - but I could get no answers other than he still loved me as much as ever but just could not 'seem' to respond to me anymore. Many arguments and discussions that got nowhere. I was going mad thinking I would never have sex again and feel that intimacy till the day I died. I knew I couldn't leave - I've always been crazy about him. So about 4 /5 years ago I told him I was going to find a lover and he said he didn't like it but he understood. So I did. Please don't judge me here - I felt so trapped and awful, my confidence was on the floor. I would never have had a secret affair and lied - that just isn't me. I learned a lot and had some fun (and some not so fun) but ultimately I learned it was not sex I was missing it was sex with the man I loved. I stopped wandering and settled back into our sexless relationship. I didn't know, but shortly after I had started he began an affair with a work colleague/friend, by the time I had found out it had been going on 4 years. They even had a business plan together and he's asked us to put money into it! I was devastated - by the lies more than anything. Everything fell apart. Believe it or not I found I still wanted to make it work (what is wrong with me!) but he didn't. Says he is horrified at what he has done and needs to be alone to try and become a better person. I have been through the anger stage, the bargaining phase and now I have accepted we are done, though I still have a kernal of stupid hope. Now I just feel depressed and quietly bitter. We have a 20 year daughter and she has taken it really well - it seems. But I am suspecting she is 'partying' a little too hard. I need to try and start living to show her a good example. I'm 56 now and feel hopeless. What next? I have cried almost everyday for 8 months.