Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Moved in with my lovely dad who is driving me mad - should I move back out?

7 replies

AnnaF55 · 21/08/2017 22:48

My dad invited me to stay with him for a month while I am between accommodations, in reality I live between his place and my boyfriend's flat 15 mins away. My dad lives in a 2 bed flat and uses the second bedroom as a 'study' with lots of bookshelves and a desk. He said I could stay there. The first week was fine, but now I'm starting to go nuts.

My dad is a neat freak and I am not really messy but I am no Monica Gellar. IE. if I leave an empty glass that I was drinking water from in the living room for a few hours he complains about it several times. He complains that my belongings are all over the place in his study but I have tried to make the best use of the space when there is little to no storage for me. He complained my perfume could 'fall' onto the floor and wreck it, yet his bathroom cabinet is chock full of aftershaves and deodrants that he has hoarded and never uses.

I don't really get alone time. If we have dinner together & I try to read in the living room, he constantly talks and I can't concentrate. Tonight I left the living room at 9.30 to have a bit of time by myself before sleeping. He walked into my temporary room at 10.30 and said 'I have to do X, Y and Z in here', pottering around and using his computer, talking away etc. When I asked for him to do this tomorrow (when I am out and have plans) he said 'I told you I'd be using this room, it's still my study.'

He does not cook so I'm doing all of that as a thank you for letting me stay. But there is NO compromise from him as far as I can stay. I feel hyper-alert all the time. On the other hand, we had a really nice day together on Sunday because I enjoy spending time with him generally.

My boyfriend says I can stay with him as often as I like until I move into my new place but I don't want to hurt my dad by leaving after his invitation. Thoughts?

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 21/08/2017 22:50

I think you and he are used to your own space and you made a mistake moving back. Do both of you a favour and move back out again!

stormytherabbit · 21/08/2017 22:52

If you don't like it move out.
He probably thinks you're a slob.

mumof06darlings · 21/08/2017 22:53

I think if you can hold it out - then do. Life is so short and you won't be there for much longer and you might never get the opportunity to live with your dad again iykwim

AnnaF55 · 21/08/2017 22:56

The truth is I've never lived with him since I was 3. My parents divorced when I was very young. I'm staying with my mum for one night only this week, as her parents drive my allergies crazy even with antihistamines.

I don't want to encroach on my boyfriend either, but I am struggling with the situation. We are both used to our own space.

OP posts:
AnnaF55 · 21/08/2017 22:57

jeez not her parents allergies, *pets allergies

OP posts:
mumof06darlings · 21/08/2017 22:58

How about a compromise - go to your boyfriend for a few nights for a break and then see how it goes from there.

AnnaF55 · 21/08/2017 23:03

Well that is what I'm doing. IE: I spent Wed, Thurs, Fri at boyfriend's. Then Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues at dads. Rinse repeat. Although my boyfriend asked me to return to his tonight, I did not because my dad wanted to spend time together.

I think I may just need to spend more time at boyfriend's and just a couple of nights at my dads. Previously my dad said 'oh so I'm going to be just a base while you live at your boyfriend's!' making me feel guilty.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread