my partner of four years just left we have always had rows but it got to a point where we just wernt clearing the air anymore and in limbo i didnt know how to reach him he says he tried to reach out to me but all i saw was him drunk and being home less and less then he asked me to move to somerset and i said yes but this time could we take it slow (we always moved in a hurry no jobs or homes) and we have a baby now he flipped out and i said just cos you dont get ur own way dont lash out 2 weeks later he left on his own and told me it was over and he didnt love me - now he wants to meet for lunch and messages me all the time and wants to have chats on the phone even though he says hes never getting back with me...he said he cant talk face to face about the split cos he cant stay stubborn when he sees me upset and only reason he wants lunch is to keep things normal for our son. hes told me i have to get used to him moving on and seeing him with someone else - but when im being nice and not angry i almost get him and break him...so confused...wondering if i play it cool and act like i dont care and then do these "lunches" etc he might see he misses us and want to come home that maybe the rows got too much and he couldnt see a way out so hes done what he always does and runs buries his head in the sand. maybe an early midlife crisis????? he always tells girls if he makes it to 5 yrs with them hell pop the question then leaves just before the 5 yrs. recently found out that the hopes and dreams we talked about (moving to middle east) he also told his ex and that when we had rowed he used to message her to get his ego stroked...shes told me they have had sex but the times shes telling me i know he was at home with me so i dont believe that for a second. hurts that he would talk to her tho sad she also told me he told her he wanted DNA on the baby we have due in november cos he thought every time i went to my mums i was seeing someone else and sex between us was barley there - i asked him and he said yes cos i was lieing about how i felt for him i said ive never lied i thought i was going to spend my life with you and i can still see us sorting through this - he just needs to accept he is to blame for some of the rows and the anger and that he is at fault this time - id take him back in a heartbeat despite it all - just wanna know if any other ladies have had a similar situation where they come running back - its only been about 5 weeks sad
hes told me i need some independence and to stand on my own two feet instead of relying on him (he gave me no choice and always ruined my chances at work and moved me away from friends) so now i got mates and am trying to get housed for me and my kids ive also sought counselling to deal with this all as well and my first meeting is on 13th sept.
if show him that i am no longer angry and have let go of the past and im the woman he fell in love with would he change his mind? i know he misses our son....ive only had 2 days where we havent spoken since the split - hes always asking if he can call to talk...
trust will be hard to come back i know and ill always be worried but if he moves into MY house this time then he leaves im not in such a mess - he wants a single life and freedom shall i let him have his "Hall pass" get it out of his system and then realise whats gone????????