What does your lovely partner kindly put up with?

[ravenmum]

I'm not a complete doormat, but I realise that since reading all the complaints my ex of 20 years told his OW about me, and having spent years before that with his frowning, disapproving silence, I've still got it in the back of my head that I need to be on my best behaviour all the time with a partner. Find it hard to mention anything I don't like because I've learned to see it as nagging or whining, for instance.

Anyone willing to admit to little things that their lovely partner could potentially get annoyed by, but does not, because he is a nice, normal person?

If you find the right person they will overlook all the annoying little things because they love you. They may ask you to put your cup in the dish a washer instead of on top or suggest that you might want to throw out the empty milk bottle rather than put it back in the fridge, but they won't do it with malice and they will also accept that you may ask something of them too.

My DP and I get on each other's nerves at times, his snoring drives me up the wall and I'm sure I piss him off equally in other ways. However, we have a lot of love to bond us, so the negative things are balanced out. It's not always easy but with the right person you will find a way.

Don't give up hope of finding love. Your Ex has crushed your confidence with his horrid behaviour. Make sure you have dealt with all of that and are ready to meet someone else, whether that means counselling, finding hobbies just for you or just accepting things about yourself that you want others to accept.

I realise when I read things on FB by "Peter and Jane" or other family bloggers that they have their moments of laziness, irritating habits, or weaknesses but seem to forgive one another. Half of me is saying "That'll come to no good, it will all end in tears just like my marriage", the other half is wishing that I could let myself be that carefree. I have a considerate bf with a sense of perspective at the moment - will not last long alas, as we don't have enough in common - but even though I am happy to brush off his snoring etc. I'm afraid of being rejected for the same reasons my ex gave.

I can be lazy, I can be bossy, I can be stubborn. DH has 'faults' but honestly I don't see them as such just part of his personality as I assume he sees mine the same.

I would hate a perfect partner as I would feel constantly on high alert to be the same. I'm sure your partner would love to see the real you, or really, what's the point?

I snore. Loudly. Like a bear with a stuffed up nose. Constantly. (I wake myself up sometimes!)

I'm a bit lazy when it comes to tidying (not cleaning I hate dirt, but the oh the jumper is on the floor not folded up kind of tidying iyswim)

I procrastinate a lot and I make spur of the minute decisions, (which I don't always think through 100%)

He's very tidy, likes a routine and prefers to plan ahead.
Also has trouble sleeping if it's too noisy.

Good thing he loves me lol!

Phenomenal flatulance.

Lack of housework - cannot bear it. I'd rather live in a midden for weeks on end then get in a rage and do a couple of hours of furious sweary cleaning.
I am much fatter than I was when we met.
Luckily he loves windy, whinging, windening me and I love him.

I can be myself. I don't have to try to be someone else, because otherwise I'm not worthy of his company.

I am the most erratic person on earth in the 2 days before my period. I could cause an argument in an empty room and he smiles blandly and gives into me like you would do a small child. He's genuinely so tolerant it's unreasonable. He's not a doormat and tells me when I'm being a bellend, but he's so lovely that I can't stay cross.

I'm also tidy to the point of madness and he rarely goes mad when I tidy his office and file lots of things under B for Bin that he may or may not need.

He also puts up with my spontaneous moments; I woke him one morning earlier this year and announced we were going to collect a new cat, and often turn up at home with new pets. He just gets on with it.

Oh goodness, lots of things.

I am a ridiculous worrier. I will ask him the same question 20-30 times in seeking reassurance and he just nods and smiles at me.

I lose my temper, including at 5 in the morning when DD2 is just grinning at me and won't go back to sleep. He steps in and sends me to bed.

I'm a bit anal about tidiness and can nag over towels left on floors, butter left out etc. He usually just shrugs and agrees to do better next time but never does.

Lovely men exist! I even found mind on the internet .

Every time I throw something in the bin I miss - and he picks it up.

He does all the cooking.

I can be very impatient - especially if something breaks down or does not work.

I am stubborn, impatient, lack confidence, a bit bossy, and I get way too stressy at times.

Thankfully he loves me as I am, craziness and all.

I am the same with him, however much he annoys me from time to time he always makes me smile and laugh again and turns me back around.

Snoring
Rescuing injured wildlife
Not putting the lid back on jars properly
" booby trapping" the fridge

I'm v v windy - sorry I know that's TMI but I have IBS and my god I think I must've burned his nostrils... not to be expected from a tiny blonde woman but it is what it is.
I'm also a snapper - I can't hold irritation in or it'll build into resentment so I yell at him to get it out and then say sorry ... he knows I don't mean it and usually just asks if I'm done and do I want a cuppa.
I'm a plot guesser - constant speculating when watching something and when I get it right I ruin it for him - he says it's okay as I compensate by being able to remind him what/who/ where something is that he's forgotten on the show.

I don't really know where to start...

I always fall asleep within 5 minutes of getting into bed, sometimes so quickly that DH is midway through saying something and I'm gone. Because of this I rarely see the end or even middle of films.
I'm messy.
When I have to take Pred for asthma flare up, I am an evil, irrational hell bitch who screams at him for hours on end. He usually just hugs me until I start crying. If it's really bad he goes for a drive and comes back with chocolate/crisps/beer.
I have no sense of time, hours can pass by and I don't even notice. Because of this I'm always late.
I also have no sense of distance or space. This means I give terrible directions and I'm also really, really clumsy.
I start sentences and never finish them. Sometimes it's because I've thought of something else not particularly important to talk about. Sometimes I just lose my train of thought and stop talking altogether.
I also talk A LOT.

I'm sure DH would tell you I do have some redeeming features. Despite all of those flaws, or maybe because of them, I can safely say that nobody has ever loved me as deeply and wholly as Mr Mango does.

Oh, plenty of things!

I'm incredibly stubborn.
I can also be incredibly lazy when I want to be and make him bring me cups of tea in bed, even at weekends.
I have really bad PMS (diagnosed as dysmenorrhea) and get really irrational and upset a couple of days before my period. Every month he buys me chocolate, lets me cry and gives me a massive cuddle.
I snore (and deny it).

I loves him :)

Thank you for the stories.

Exh used to get pissed off if I just chucked his rolled-up socks over to his sock drawer but did not actually put them in for him. The thought of the look I would have got if I had chucked rubbish at a bin and missed!

He also used to get pissed off when I laughed at German pop music and pointed out the features that make it all sound the same. This was a sign that I Hated His Country, and deserved a nasty grim face. This year a popular German satirist did a fake pop song making fun of exactly those features. I think I will marry him next.

I have five cats and a house rabbit.

He complains a bit but he's mostly cool with it.

I am so bloody messy. I don't know how to tidy a cluttered room. No idea why just can't see where to start or what to put where OH is tidy and doesn't mind clearing up my crap which I always feel pretty ashamed about but he assures me it's not an issue.... yet

Another one with IBS who does terrible, stinky farts. DH is generally kind enough to ignore it, though he sometimes does move away if it's particularly bad. Once during pregnancy, when my IBS was particularly bad, I had an "incident" whilst getting changed and ended up with poo on the bedroom floor. I was well and truly mortified. I was in tears, saying that I was disguating etc. He calmly sent me to bathroom and cleaned up my mess

DP has tolerated some of the most almighty hormone-related rages and tantrums for the last ten years. He even found out about premenstrual dysphoria and told me about. (I only see this now I'm on a different contraceptive pill btw.)

I have to comment on this as its a topic of conversation between myself and my new boyfriend at present.

I cwtch (hug) my boyfriend so tight in bed at night and get so sweaty that the two of us wake up dripping. Its pretty grim! I make a conscious effort not to cwtch him at night anymore because I feel so bad. He says its "cute" but I can see that pissing him off eventually.

Pondering this has made me realise how many annoying things I do that DH just puts up with. Love you DH you annoying bastard when you sneeze I want to slice your head off 😇