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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DH never tells me stuff

14 replies

Readysaltedcrisps · 21/08/2017 00:50

Was chatting with a neighbour earlier, who mentioned another neighbour who had been taken ill the other day, requiring an ambulance in the early hours.

Mentioned it to my DH who said 'yeah, I know'.

So, he knew and didn't think to mention it? I would have popped a get well card through the door if he'd told me. (Still will, just would prefer DH to have told me than a neighbour).

He does this a lot and it pisses me off. It's as if he likes having the power by having knowledge of something I don't know about.

OP posts:
DirigiblePlums · 21/08/2017 00:51

LTB

Readysaltedcrisps · 21/08/2017 00:53

Hmm, maybe I will!

OP posts:
SaS2014 · 21/08/2017 00:53

See my dh would be the same but to him it's just not relevant to life info so it doesn't/wouldn't occur to him to pass it on!

numbmum83 · 21/08/2017 00:57

Would this be seen as gossip to him? Does he have a professional job where he has to keep a lot to himself? Or perhaps he is just a loyal character which isn't always a bad thing.

Readysaltedcrisps · 21/08/2017 01:02

I can't make up my mind whether he didn't class it as important enough to mention or whether he deliberately witheld it.

In the big scheme of things, it's not massively important, it just annoys me.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 21/08/2017 07:57

I'd see it as gossip

Hermonie2016 · 21/08/2017 10:04

If you knew your partner would be interested I think it's appropriate to share.

Relationships work by meeting your partners needs and its often the small stuff that consolidates a relationship.
Op is obviously interested in her neighbours and if her partner shared the info (since at a low cost to him) it would have shown he is interested in her.

Looneytune253 · 21/08/2017 10:04

Maybe he just seen it as gossip?

HarmlessChap · 21/08/2017 16:51

Sometimes I hear things which I don't find particularly significant, it might be something which is a bit sad or that someone has done something which has no direct impact on me or my family.

There's no deliberate withholding of information and if it came up in conversation I would mention it but I'm more likely to forget about it as soon as I'm told than feel any need to volunteer the information to others.

junebirthdaygirl · 21/08/2017 17:13

My dh is like that. Its more he forgets to tell me. Maybe a friend tells him their dd is in hospital and he never mentions it. Im upset then as dont inquire after little one. Nothing sinister just forgetful.

SnowiestMountain · 21/08/2017 17:15

DH does this all the time, I think it's very much a case of him not placing the same importance on this sort of information as I do!

Paperdoll16 · 21/08/2017 17:47

Surely it was just a case of not giving it a second thought as it's quite insignificant to his life rather than withholding information from you?

If it was a close friend or relative then I would think differently.

Oblomov17 · 21/08/2017 18:03

My Dh is occasionally like this. In his instance I don't think it's a controlling thing. I think it really isn't important to him. And he's not a gossiper.
I think a lot of men aren't.

PinkHeart5911 · 21/08/2017 18:04

To me your example is just gossip and I wouldn't mention something like that to dh because it isn't relevant to our lives

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