Hi - Ex and I split last year after I discovered he cheated. We'd been together ten years.
The split was very painful, involving me having to move house, settling DC into new nursery and dealing with shitty behaviour from ex and OW.
I spent most of the year stressed out and obsessing about it all, I'd talk constantly about them and could think of little else. I felt like things got better recently, my new life seemed to fall into place and I realised I was happy and ultimately better off. BUT...
I really want to know the extent of their cheating. At first I thought it had only been going on for a few weeks prior to me finding out (I saw their emails referring to "the last few weeks" being so happy), but things aren't really adding up - he said it was a work event (she doesn't seem to work), I've found out her kid was at same school as his eldest a couple of years ago which makes me wonder if they met there. They got engaged a few weeks after we split - seems too quick.
It's making me wonder about stuff like did he go see her after I gave birth and he couldn't stay on the ward. I feel sick about it. I feel like knowing the truth would at least stop me from second guessing every happy moment we had over the years.
I'll never get a straight answer out of him but wonder if the OW would talk to me. She certainly doesn't pull punches.
Would the truth help me move on? If not how can I let go and stop speculating?
So sick of having good days then finding myself up late stewing on it all again.