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Original poster

Tell me about meeting the love of your life when over the age of 30

60 replies

Belindaboom · 20/08/2017 22:23

I need convinced I'm not on the shelf. TIA.

OP posts:
Original poster
Belindaboom · 20/08/2017 23:24

Thank you all. I lost a chunk of my 20s to cancer (thus the children thing not being liked) and feel like i missed my chance.

OP posts:
FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty · 20/08/2017 23:24

Got married at 26, had 3 DCs and then got divorced at 38.

Met my absolute soul mate the same year - he's 34. Would have been lovely to have met him earlier, but tbh we are only the people we are because of everything we have experienced, so if we'd met earlier we might not have got on so well.

You have ages to meet the right person. What are you doing to try and find them? I met XH through work and DP through online dating. Not for the faint hearted, but I had mainly very positive experiences!

thestamp · 20/08/2017 23:26

I met my DP at age 31, a few weeks after ending my marriage. DC in tow.

30 is a baby op

Brenna24 · 20/08/2017 23:26

Partner of 11 years had an affair with the mother of my godson and left when I was 32. I was pretty badly hurt for a while. Had a FWB thing with someone for a while, but both of us were a bit too messed up for even that to last too long. Met my now husband aged 36. Now about to turn 40, married for 2 years and 15 weeks pregnant after a series of miscarriages and a lot of treatment. He has been my rock and was very patient in the early days when I was really struggling with getting close to someone. It sounds odd but going through the miscarriages together has shown me just how different he is and how much I can trust him. It has made us stronger by far.

Original poster
Belindaboom · 20/08/2017 23:28

Met an ex online and more recent ex through work. Both were arses however sadly.

Oh and I fucking hate the daily fail. (Constant terror of a thread being picked up is almost as bad as shelf fear)

OP posts:
SerfTerf · 20/08/2017 23:29

If you were Elizabeth Taylor you wouldn't have met Richard Burton yet.

piglover · 20/08/2017 23:34

Met mine at 42 after a really horrible break-up with the person I was with for 8 years and thought I'd be with forever (and who, as it turned out, wasn't remotely as lovely as the person I'm with now.)

moomin11 · 20/08/2017 23:35

I met my DH at 31 after getting divorced at 30. We have a 2 year old DD and got married a month ago (at 37). You're so not on the shelf Smile

MeltorPeltor · 20/08/2017 23:38

I met mine at 29, does that count?

Came out of a long term relationship as although we were happy at that point, I couldn't see a future, I wanted children but didn't want them with him, we'd never even discussed buying a house together, after 5 years!!!!

I then basically had to hit rock bottom to get back up again, I met someone, he wanted to marry me and start a family after about a week, he was wildly unsuitable and hounded me for a relationship (in retrospect in ways that make me feel uncomfortable). I decided I was far better off without a man at all, made my peace with it and was having a bloody amazing time being a single lady (with dog).

I went for a drink with one of my girlfriends and met DH through her, we moved in together after 4 months, found out I was pregnant after we'd been together a year (it was planned but we had thought it would take years to conceive successfully) and we're now happily married.

Do I wish we'd met earlier? No, we came together at exactly the right time in our lives, if we'd have met earlier it wouldn't have worked.

Purpleball · 20/08/2017 23:42

Met DH online at match affinity, aged 38, he was 41
Moved in together a year later
Married 2 years later
DS is almost 2
Been together 5.5 years

Figment1234 · 20/08/2017 23:46

I got to age 33 never having had a boyfriend.. not even what you would call a date. Then I finally got the nerve up to tell my friend of 10 years that I had feelings for him...

We are getting married next month Grin

ilovepixie · 20/08/2017 23:47

I was 40 and never been married, lived with anyone or even had a long term relationship. I decided when I reached 40 I was going to change this. I started internet dating and within 6 months I had met a man and moved in with him. We're engaged, still together and live in a lovely flat overlooking the sea with our wee dog.

JK1773 · 21/08/2017 00:59

Met my DP at 41. I longed for a family but my ex robbed me of that (one of the many ways he was an utter knob). I'm happier now than I've ever been, truly. And the DC situation breaks me from time to time but hey ho. I made my life choices and I take responsibility for that 😪

9unctured6icycle · 21/08/2017 01:37

Met my dh at 38. He's the best. And I appreciate it so much more than if I'd met him in my 20s. I have kissed so many fucking frogs, I know what's out there etc.
My mate is getting married in Sept at just short of 50yo (she's been w her dp for a couple of years). I agree, 30 is just no age at all.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 21/08/2017 01:39

I've found love twice over the age of 30 - married a man aged 32 and had two children - married 10 yrs then divorced but still good friends. Then fell in love again aged 42 - have been together 10 yrs and married a year. Very happy.
When you get to my age (53) you'll realise what a youngster you are at age 30.

OneTitWonder · 21/08/2017 01:42

Met my DH when I was 36, married when I was 37, DS born when I was 38. Ten years on and still very happy.

SomeonesRealName · 21/08/2017 07:00

Met my lovely DP online dating when I was 37. We've been together 2 years and we're very happy. You can really sift through the frogs quickly on online dating!

TJ2503 · 21/08/2017 09:58

Met my now second husband (and love of my life) 20 months after the breakdown of my first marriage. I was 33 and had a 2 1/2 year old son from my previous marriage and thought no man would look in my direction given I was a single mother with a horrific Ex to deal with.

Met my DH online and knew I loved him the moment I met him. Now 35, have been married just over a year and have another son, 10 months...... we have crammed a lot into the last 3 years!

You are not in the shelf OP!

Thebluedog · 21/08/2017 10:03

I'm 44 and me my DP when I was 42. I can honestly say he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Everything I ever wanted in a man and I fancy him Grin I have 2 DCs (5&9) and he's amazing with them too. No red flags and he's not turned into a nut job

OllyBJolly · 21/08/2017 10:17

Met my DH when I was 44. A relationship was the last thing I wanted - my career had taken off, I was studying for a Masters, and had two hormonal teenagers at home. When we met I thought it might be good to see him a couple of times because he was good fun and made me laugh a lot. No plan to get into a relationship.

Also, I'd been single since 31 and loved being on my own (with children). I'd created my own world , financially independent and had a very nice life. If I was on the shelf, it was a pretty fun shelf!

Been together 12 years. DCs adore him. Still makes me laugh every day.

Schroedingerscatagain · 21/08/2017 10:24

Met my DH just before my 32nd birthday, he was 36 both career singles put together on a blind date by his cousin

Married 11 weeks later, first child born 3 days before first anniversary second child 15 months later

Just coming up to our 16th Anniversary still in love, it often happens when you least expect it

goatsdontshave · 21/08/2017 10:29

I got together with the love of my life when I was 49 and he was 51. He had grown up kids, my youngest was still at primary school. It started as a bit of fun after we both got divorced (both for the second time) but we fell in love.

He's so different to my XHs, we are so different with each other than we were with our exes. It works because we are the people we are now, not the people we were when we were younger.

I didn't believe in 'the love of your life' until him.

Crispsheets · 21/08/2017 10:30

I was 54. Just divorced.. .wasn't even looking. Neither was he. Three years on have bought a house and looking forward to a great life together

ravenmum · 21/08/2017 10:42

I'm going to hazard a guess that Amal Alamuddin wasn't absolutely desperate when she was "still" single at the age of 35, but yes, that's when she first bumped into George Clooney. :)

whycantwegoonasthree · 21/08/2017 12:09

Met mine at 38. And while sometimes I wonder what would have happened had we met earlier, I think we both benefit from our experiences and it makes our relationship stronger as a result.

It's not a typical mono-normative relationship escalator kind of relationship though. I think you have to accept that relationships later in life may not follow the pattern that is expected in your twenties.

But personally I think that's a good thing. You're free to create the relationship frame that works from you, not just the one everyone expects.

In fact, giving far fewer fucks about what people think may be one of the best things about starting a relationship later in life!