Friendships - Feeling Disappointed

[Treemonkey76]

I am just wondering if anyone else considers their friendships not all that they should be/thought they were?

I have been pretty fed up these Summer Hols because despite mentioning to a 'friend' several times that we should meet up with our dc's this has never happened. The problem lies I think with the fact that I have a very active 3 year old who obviously cramps our style in terms of the things that we can do - other dc's are older 9+. Still I feel aggrieved that she has not gone out of her way even once to meet up but has met up with other friends over the course of the holidays. Am I right in thinking that a really good friend would go out of their way just once to join in with an activity and put up with my boisterous three year old?
Likewise there are others who promise things and then retract on them- we've decided not to go to x tomorrow after all because of x. I feel totally let down by these individuals its as if having younger dc has thrown a spanner in the works and we are not always accommodated in plans and this quite often lets down my older dc too who may have been looking forward to meeting up.
I struggled to make friends when I had young dc for a very major reason. I suffered a bereavement and became very withdrawn so I have relied more upon my 'older' friends that have children more the age of dc1 but am now doubting the substance of some of these 'friendships'. I feel I have lost trust in others now too. Fortunately, I have not relied on playdates etc. these holidays - dc1 has attended a workshop for nearly a week based on a hobby they enjoy and we have been away on hols for nearly two weeks. This was basically planned because I knew dc 1 would be left at a loose end and it has worked well but now we are back and have a couple of weeks left it has hit home how few real friends (if any) we actually seem to have. To complicate things I am lacking energy (due to a temporary health condition) so taking dc's out over next few days isn't going to be easy and adds to my sense of guilt. Just a bit of a rant really; both dc1 and I seem to be lacking friends but at least dc starts a new school in September so I am hoping things will change. It is true that I have had dc2 later in life - they were very much wanted but I do feel that I have been left behind and that others are somehow getting on with their lives, I could have done with meeting a few older mothers when I had dc2 but as I said this just didn't happen due to becoming very insular. I am a sahm and I think I find this isolating - finding work around dc2 is incredibly difficult - I am looking for term time only work although I have been very fortunate to stumble upon a somewhat isolating hobby that has me utterly engrossed and probably saves my sanity.
Long winded post, just wondered if anyone can relate to any parts of this?

How long have you known this friend?

Hi, I have known this friend for several years and we tended to meet up a few times in the hols before little one came along, I guess that's why I feel so disappointed and can only put my finger on younger dc being the issue. Admittedly, it is not easy getting about with younger dc - they are into everything - very switched on but pushes boundaries. I think, I'm just feeling a bit left behind generally as all the people I know fairly well have children aged 7 + at school etc and are in a different place to me now. My difficulties arose when I missed the boat to make some new friends at toddler groups etc. with second dc but I really was lost in grief at the time and found it difficult to get out to these groups let alone socialise. But I have come out of that now and I am gradually becoming more sociable. I'm feeling isolated at the moment, health issue is a blip and should resolve in a few weeks but I am feeling pretty drained at the moment and this isn't helping me to be hugely proactive. Hopefully, I will begin to feel more positive in a few weeks time. But it has opened my eyes up to the fact that friendships can shift and change over time and not always for the better. There also seemed much envy from various quarters (both dc1's good friend and my own) when my elder dc passed the 11+, I think this also became an issue for them sadly. We kept it very low key but it still seemed to cause a few issues - only natural I guess if you have something that someone else wants badly for themselves or their children. Having said that a couple of friends seemed unaffected by it, people and their motives are difficult to work out I think! It helps to write about it.