This is long and I'm not even sure what I'm saying. I don't even know where to start. Me and my dh have two girls, 4, and 4 weeks. We've always had a very passionate relationship. But when we argue, we come to blows. And on several occasions he's tried to dump me. And I am always the one in the wrong and his words are 'I don't need this shit' even to the point of telling me he doesn't love me, causing many a panic attack. Which he doesn't think is a panic attack, tells me to 'calm down we all have anxiety on some level, I just show it different' then takes it back when we've made up. A few examples. I was watching his football match one day, stood talking to one of his friends, who also happens to be a friend of my dsis and dbro. We were chatting and joking, lots of other people there too. Later that night he accused me of flirting, said I can't love him if I flirt with other guys and said he didn't want me and we were done. I begged and cried all night for him not to end it, I had to admit I was wrong and beg for his love and forgiveness. Then another example, couple of weeks ago, he had football and my auntie and uncle who live abroad who he'd never met were stopping at my mums. We were to be there for 430 for dinner, come 440 I see his car go past. Call and ask where he is. He is having a drink at the pub, says Saturday is his day and he can have a drink if he wants to. Come 510 still nothing so I leave dc with my mum and go to the pub to find him. Go over to him, and say 'are you kidding me?' He smiles and walks outside with me. Then outside starts screaming at me that I embarrassed him in front of the pub, he doesn't want me anymore, doesn't love me, is sick of my shit, I'm stood crying begging, trying to stop him leaving, to the point where people come out, his friends come out and tell him to just come with me and see my family. We eventually got there an hour later and my auntie was leaving. I was so embarrassed. Even after that when we got home he continued the argument, saying I'm wrong and should be embarrassed for going into the pub and he doesn't want me anymore. Kept it up til the early hours of the morning refusing to give in til I admit I was wrong and apologise which I only did because I was so exhausted and saw no other way out. We do have amazing times the rest of the time. But when we argue he always threatens ending it. He never admits he's wrong. It has to be me begging and doing the ego stroking. I don't know what I'm asking or saying. Just wanted to talk.