Husband stormed out not taken phone kids worried

[mnaddict1]

Evening all
Dh and I have had an argument yesterday evening. Things have been frosty today. We had cross words this evening and He has stormed out in his car. Has left his phone behind but taken his wallet.
My two dc are worried about dh. I am really furious that he would just storm off and be without communication. What if there was an emergency? My ds is having a flare of his asthma at the moment and could become unwell.
What can I say/do to reassure the children that he's ok? How long before I begin to worry about him? He's been gone about 2 hours so far

Reassure kids that until v recently, people didn't have phones on them. They just went out and that was it. Dh will take care of himself. Remind them they are the kids and he's the grown up so they do not need to worry about him.

Would probably also point out to them that dh probably needs to be completely alone for a bit because he is sorting out some strong feelings.

Don't allow his behaviour to ruin your night.

Can you ring someone who might help if ds suddenly gets ill. Let them know the situation and you can then console yourself that you have help if needed.

And then put all this aside. Dh shouldn't have stormed out, but he's a grown up and it's his responsibility to take care of himself.

What stupid, childish behaviour. Is this the first time or does he have form ?

Great advice @thestamp I have told them daddy is a grown up and can look after himself but will also take on board your other points.

@Pollydonia it is stupid and childish isn't it. I'm bloody furious. one of us will leave the house of things get heated but always take a phone. This is just another attempt at attacking my existing anxiety I think. He certainly isn't forgotten it as he managed to remember his wallet and car keys

Is he back yet op?

How old and the dc?

He's returned about half an hour ago. Dc pleased to see him. I haven't bothered speaking to him yet. Am
About to go up to bed in the spare room.

Children are 9 and 7

I

Hope you get some sleep @mnaddict1

Think it's time you both grow up, how can anything be sorted if you don't
speak?

Thanks @Pollydonia

@Seeyamonday indeed. I see your point as I am here in the reality of this. But your comment isn't really helpful as you don't know the context, the ins and outs of our relationship etc- just a snapshot of my worry when he had stormed out. Yes occasionally one of us will leave the house during an argument but there are also time s when we try to discuss our issues as adults do.

Not sure why you'd involve a 7 and 9 year old in your arguments to the extent that they're worried their 'daddy is out without his phone.'

What's wrong with shielding them a little? What you're doing is incredibly damaging to your DC.

@stormytherabbit I didn't tell my children we had argued. They asked are dad was and I said he had gone out. I never mentioned an argument to them. They were worried as he had gone without his phone which is unusual.

Why were they even aware he went out without his phone?
you asked what to say do/say to the DC to reassure them? Interesting that they feel insecure about their fathers wellbeing/safety. Do you often project your anxieties onto your children ?
Very odd set up.

They probably saw it!!

My children at that age wouldn't have had the first clue that Dad was off without his phone and we should all be worried. Unless he stormed out shouting "and I am not taking my phone either" or you said something OP then why do they know they and why are they so worried? They sound exposed to too much.

I've been there, walking out only to have to face it later and it's never pleasant. Ofcourse I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship, how could I, I'm giving my opinion based only on what I've been through, I dont think that's unreasonable.

I'd have told the kids he'd gone out to get some peace and quiet, not taken phone as didn't want contacting.
People used to fall out and go for long walks/drive before mobiles.
best way with children is not to make a drama out of it.

I agree with others not a great way to raise kids if you have frequent arguments.
Time to sort it out once and for all.

Yes occasionally one of us will leave the house during an argument

This is actually worrying. It's not a sign of a healthy relationship that this happens often enough to be a repeat occurrence.

What sort of things to you end up arguing about and how do the arguments arise?

Good I think that he's back but why would you involve your dc in a row?

Are you alright? How would you like things to be?

Pick is right. You are both wrong. Perhaps counselling will help you both grow up a bit

Not normal for DC to be so involved as to worry if their parent leaves the house without a phone. That anxiety has to come from you.
Do your kids a favour and keep them out of your squabbles

@MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly has it. The children saw his phone. I didn't mention anything about an argument or him going out to them. They came downstairs, saw his car gone and his phone on the side

@PickAChew it is an unhealthy behaviour I can see that. Ultimately I'm not sure any of the relationship is healthy