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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friendship and mental health

2 replies

Heartoftheattic · 19/08/2017 19:54

I've a close friend who is bipolar, although I'm not sure if this is relevant. We've been good friends for a couple of years but at the moment she is going through a really stressful time; rocky relationship and stuck in a job she hates. I've tried to be a supportive friend but her behaviour to me has just been horrible, she has lied to me, tried to wind me up, and been generally unkind frequently over the last few months. When I've challenged her she says that as long as her bad behaviour makes her happy it doesn't matter if it hurts me.

I try to focus on the good memories I have of her and that this is hopefully just a stage, but I really want to distance myself and tell her i need time out from the friendship as it's repeatedly knocking my self-esteem. Is it wrong to give up on a friend when you suspect that they have mental health issues affecting their behaviour?

OP posts:
HadronCollider · 19/08/2017 20:48

No I don't think it's wrong. Not if it's affecting your own mental health. I think you do have to be more understanding, forgiving, patient, with someone who has MH issues, but that shouldn't come at the expense of your own wellbeing. I would step right back.

EasyToEatTiger · 19/08/2017 21:18

When I've challenged her she says that as long as her bad behaviour makes her happy it doesn't matter if it hurts me.

Read again and if and when the time allows you can resume your friendship. Do not take it personally. You won't be the only one. If you have friends in common, relate what's going on to them. If they are not interested move on. Life can be shit sometimes, and if your friend is going through something really awful, there is probably not an awful lot you can do and it's better to leave it to the professionals, if there are any left.

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