So fucked off with the continual battle

[greenberet]

I am so fucked off with having to deal with the bollocks created by my X.

Every single aspect of my life is tainted by his fucking nonsense.

I am trying to sort out my pension from the divorce - I am sure he will have manipulated it in some way as he works in this field and transferred out of his final salary scheme just before the final hearing.

He had all the paperwork to confirm this was "legit" just like with everything else and the judge was fooled by it all. Lack of experience and flattered by the bullshit given to her by one of her ex colleagues

I got a % rather than a fixed amount but the X has the ability to manipulate what the actual fund is - and the company involved are unable to answer my questions due to the Data protection Act even though they have documentation that shows I have a legal interest. The X being is usual fucking self will not give his authority to release this info

I am going round in fucking circles just like with every other aspect of my divorce

CMS are fucking useless - the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing - one dept dealing with annual review with out of date info - the other dealing with current payments but doesn't share info with review dept. It's a fucking farce.

This is on top of all the shit with the kids!

I am getting to fucking breaking point - my counselling is finished - right now I am so angry but this will turn inwards shortly and I will start thinking what's the point.

3 years of fucking aggro and for what - the toll on my health has no value. All this is for the kids - no other reason.

Sorry ladies need to get it out before I fucking explode

,

still no additional payment from the X - i have sent him a reminder today together with a copy of the CMS payment schedule - he has no excuse - its a fucking additional £49.17 - peanuts to him - his DD's travel pass for college is £65 for one month more than the fucker is currently paying to support his kids - but thats ok because i get child tax credits and child benefit - as he told DD - plus apparently £35,000 paid in advance - this was my insurance payout for breast cancer !!!

i am angry today - so fucking angry - later it will be tears

I am slowly working through the so called professionals who "helped" me with my divorce - my family home was ordered to be sold by the courts back in April last year due to the x claiming "no money".

I said all along that he will be behind this somewhere and will have manipulated it out of spite - didn't want me to keep it - didn't want me to have a share of the business either or his pension. He succeeded on two out of three - im still waiting on the pension.

Today I have come across an email that one of the professionals missed - the email that shows his true intentions despite all the bullshit he gave to everyone else. Had this email been sent to me it would have been the proof I needed and maybe I would have been believed - instead I lost the family home.

i am back in bed now - depression kicking in - I knew - I knew all along!

Is he a director where he works by any chance?

Is it possible to ask that the pension be moved and held in a company he has no contacts in?

Sorry you are going through this
He sounds an utter cunt

Could you employ a forensic accountant? It would cost so depends on how financially worthwhile it is.

If he is self employed ltd company is he claiming the 12k is salary, if so he may pay himself dividends when he submits his tax return. Check on companies house to see more info on his company.

there have been many articles over the last few years which have mentioned the benefits and pitfalls of transferring a final salary pension, some schemes were offering large amounts. www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/pensions/article-4644186/Is-worth-swapping-final-salary-pension-cash.html. There are lots of articles on this.

It would be interesting to know if your permission was needed to transfer the pension if you had already initiated the divorce proceedings. Effectively if a transfer was not the best advice are there grounds for a mis-selling complaint? Did he seek advice or do it execution only? Have you spoken to a good/ recommended IFA preferably one with an understanding of divorce and splitting pension pots?

Anyone with a fund valued at £30,000 or more is legally required to seek advice before transferring a defined benefit scheme to a personal plan.

THIS ^ is from the article - I'd want to know if you should have had financial advice before having the Great Offer thrust upon you! I'm assuming he took advice - did they take into account your situation? Legally Should they have done?

Maybe repost on here under chat asking for pension divorce experts?

Sorry couple more thoughts. Is the % you were offered based on the final salary scheme value or the value that was being offered by the employer to leave the scheme?

Can you get a Bursary for your sons school fees?

out he is a director - yes - I may well be moving the pension once I know the value, but have deliberately kept it with them until I have this.
43 we had a forensic accountant for the business and a pensions actuary - the whole lot has been a farce. He did get 'advice' from a friend - I only got the report at the court hearing - he refused permission for the pensions actuary to comment on it. The question about permission to transfer - where are you getting this from - are you in financial services? - he is saying it was in my interest as transfer values were high - the judge was bamboozled by him - he's a pensions expert - my old background is pensions too so I have a bit of knowledge. I should hear soon on my fund value and will know one way or another.
I have also contacted thisismoney for some help- I know they have been heavily involved in pension transfers - there are dividends too - my tax situation is a mess as he declared dividends to me but kept the money so this is being looked at by hmrc - CMS have the info just so bloody slow in dealing with it

I have said every aspect of my life has been corrupted

pam yes I managed to get a discount

cleo he is an utter cunt

He has gone to a school meeting tonight dispite not replying to one of the emails I sent him saying I was concerned about DS,s mental health. I know this is purely to try and rile me and show that he can still attend despite not paying any of the fees.

Thank you ladies

43 I've just looked at the link

This is interesting - I'll have to dig out the report as I'm not sure if it mentioned this - all I can remember is it talked about needing to achieve i high yield and I'm looking to take benefits in 2 and a bit years - I'm not sure whether the bit about circumstances is relevant either - will post in chat

Those seeking independent financial advice must have their position considered in full – with information spelt out on the value of the benefits being given up – not just the size of the transfer value.

Thank you

"The question about permission to transfer - where are you getting this from - are you in financial services? - he is saying it was in my interest as transfer values were high - the judge was bamboozled by him - he's a pensions expert - my old background is pensions too so I have a bit of knowledge. "

This is true of defined benefit schemes (worth over £30k) - you MUST have advice from an IFA before you can transfer it.
The advice can say "don't transfer it", though you still do, the law only says you need to get advice, not that you need to follow it. Though some schemes will refuse to make the transfer in that situation and that depends on their own rules.

Mind you, the way you are talking about the pension, saying things like 'high yield', suggest it was not a defined benefit scheme.

I can't recall why I asked if he was a director now - sorry! The only thing I can think is that if he is a statutory director, i.e. at Companies House, not just in title - then he is breaching his fiduciary duty by having such a conflict of interest and a letter to the chair of the board might be useful?

Especially if it is a PLC.

out i think i may have confused you with my ramblings

it was def a transfer from a final salary scheme and to make it feasible to transfer i think it was invested in a high yield fund - i am going to write to the company that gave the advice

X is a director but not of the company the pension was transferred to but he does have lots of connections in the industry!

so he has decided to pay cms weekly - just another way to take the piss and continuing the abuse - he has no reason to do this - he gets paid monthly!
Just ordered two textbooks for DD these came to £50 alone

when will this cease to bother me- c88t - f88king c88T!

Have you not seen the advice that was given then? I feel like you should have done.

Yes I saw the advice after it was already done - but as I have said it was a colleague and if you know how you can "fix" the advice to make it fit the outcome you want.

The pensions actuary was not allowed to see the report - whole thing a farce

I have to post this - I have just been chatting with my DD and found out something about the X. He is moving offices tomorrow. It just so happens that he is going to a town where I have been considering moving to. The town has no connection with him or my past. I was interested in a new house there about a year ago and took my DD to see it. I have recently offered on another property there in the last two months and again Ddcame to see it. I do a course there which I did last year and starts again next week - I have also been to exercise classes there over the summer.

I am feeling freaked - I will not be able to sleep - it seems too weird to be a coincidence - I have no idea why he is moving offices - I do hope this has nothing to do with his pension. This was one place I had no chance of bumping into him - now I am feeling stalked, violated and do not actually want to continue with my course.

I should not be feeling like this but I am. I have always had concerns that somehow he could be hacking into my emails - maybe through the kids - I know he has been able to hack websites before. I do not believe in coincidences - there is always some connection. I am now freaked.

I knew I would be awake - the fucker has already changed his address on company website - brand new serviced offices - looks like the company is doing well - not the bullshit he gave the courts and everybody else then!

Theses fuckers certainly stick to form - discard the old when no longer of use - wants a fresh start where his past not staring him in the face everyday - like the time he got his landlord to threaten me with calling the police if I did not leave the premises when I turned up to get my payslip that the x had been withholding. note here X wasn't going to call police - got someone else to do his dirty work - landlord was going to physically remove me from premises! Should have let him call the police - Thing is I was scared back then , scared I was in the wrong, scared no one would believe me!

So this will be useful to send to CMS - wonder how he is affording this on a £12000 salary! No wonder he doesn't want to pay for his DS school fees - still prioritising the only thing that matters to him!

Oh and the first thing that jumped out at me when looked up the new offices - they opened on the fucking kids birthday! This fucker is signing his own death warrant and he will be too blind to see it!

I've been reading the PTSD thread - anyone got any doubts about what the impact is on divorcing these fuckers - read my threads - the abuse doesn't stop!

Those of you where the Fathers have fucked off - you don't know how lucky you are - I can't imagine what this does to my kids heads - constantly hearing a load of fucking bullshit out of his mouth and seeing the direct opposite by his actions! No doubt he will come up with some story as to why he had to move offices!

I've had another lucky escape - the house I offered on fell through - thank fucking Christ - someone is watching out for me!