Addiction to porn??

[Peanutbutter15]

So, deep breath and here we go.
Since DD was born (18 months) mine and DH sex life is non existent. At first I didn't notice/care as was so busy with DD, DS (4) and we moved home.
Fast forward to now and there is nothing still, I know I shouldn't be moaning but I feel invisible/unwanted/unattractive.
I thought maybe he didn't fancy me anymore and didn't want to be with me because life 'gets a bit boring sometimes'.
We both work, him very hard, gets up at 1am til 3pm everyday. We spend zero time together because he is always tired (understandably so) and when children go to bed - so does he.
I should probably add that he's been diagnosed with PTSD following serving in forces and suffers with depression. I've tried my best to be understanding and help all I can. And since Dd been born he has put on weight (3 stone) not that I care.
Point of the story ... I picked up DH phone and saw he'd been looking at porn while he works away.
I confronted him and told him it hurt as he shows zero interest in me.
He said that he feels he can't enjoy sex or wants sex with me because of how he feels about his own weight and he feels disgusting.
I just feel so rejected and ugly.
Am I being mugged off?? I don't know how to feel ... help.

for you. I wouldn't be quick to say LTB on this one... it does sound like he genuinely may have issues with himself, especially with the PTSD. Would he be up for counselling?

It's not you, it's how he's feeling about himself. You are both tired, you never spend any time together. I really wouldn't take it personally. He's watching porn to relieve his own sexual tension but it's really crap he's not interested in yours. It's a difficult one because you don't have the time to even build up to anything. Telling him you aren't bothered about his change in appearance may not be convincing to him. Do you have any intimacy at all? A kiss and a cuddle when he comes home? What happens if you try to initiate sex? Maybe he's afraid of rejection if he was to initiate anything. So sorry you are going through this. Sounds like you have gotten stuck in a bit of a rut.

Thank you so much for the replies, means a lot as it's not something I feel I can talk to anyone close to me about really. Too personal.
He's awaiting placement on a residential course for a month especially for ex forces.
We do have a kiss and cuddle when he's home but that's as far as it goes.
I've tried to initiate sex a few times, sometimes it's worked other times he clams up so I just don't push it. I've lost my own confidence in even trying.
He's asked me to call phone company and block adult content (contracts in my name).
Before DD came along, he had a very high sex drive.
I can take some blame I guess I can be hard to live with, a bit OCD with housework and cos I work nights I too get tired and snappy

It sounds like sex is just very low on the list of priorities at the moment. Is this your first child? It's very normal for sex life to dwindle when you have young children. I know how soul destroying it can be to not feel wanted in that way. But try to reassure yourself this is only temporary and that it's not a reflection of how he feels about you or the way you look. Just keep communicating. And set realistic goals moving forward. Try for once a month for example. The more sex you have, the more sex you want.

I recently went through almost exactly the same thing (though we had no children). In the end we broke up, which was the right thing to do, but the continual rejection has wrecked my self-esteem. In your case, as you have a young child, I'd definitely try to resolve things, but many couples find that it is a very difficult issue to resolve.

Thanks for the replies.
Not our first we also have a 4 year old.
I'm just a breaking point with our relationship and as childish as it sounds I just want some attention.