Sterilisation

[retainertrainer]

My lovely sister has just had DD 3. We're very close so I know a lot about her relationship with her DP. He's always said he wants to get married but in 10 years has come up with several excuses not to pop the question. They don't want anymore children. Her partner won't wear condoms and sis is fed up of hormonal contraception so she's going to be sterilised.

This isn't sitting well with me. I haven't said anything but I can't help thinking that he can't commit to a marriage yet she's committing to this.

I know it's her body and her choice but she wouldn't be doing it if he got the snip or put something on the end of it!

I don't know what advice I'm looking for,I know it's non of my business I just needed somewhere to off load!

If she's recently had her third child and is certain she doesn't want more then I personally feel that a permanent solution is better than either condoms or the pill.

But, unless she's having other gynaecological issues that can be solved by the procedure, it would obviously be much easier and quicker for her dp to have the snip.

It may be something they've discussed and agreed between them, or he may have refused a vasectomy because he secretly feels he may not stay in the relationship, it's impossible for us to know.

Regards the marriage - she can't be that bothered about marriage if she's hung around for ten years and just had a third child. I'd have issued an ultimatum or walked away before now.

Thanks Rainy.

She'd never issue an ultimatum. She's hates confrontation of any sort. She's obviously happy to have the sterilisation I think I'm struggling with it because it's not a situation I would be happy with.

I would have done as you suggested-ultimatum/walk away and no fucking chance in hell, after one very difficult delivery and 2 c sections would I then go through another invasive procedure. I'd be telling him it's his turn!