Dealing with a toxic family as an adult - any recommendations?

[scampimom]

So my DH's family are a bunch of....well, not nice people. His dad is very angry, always shouting over every little thing my DH does, his sister is very critical but doesn't shout as much. It's destroying him. They get me down a little, but I don't actually care what they think of me, so it doesn't affect me so much. But for DH it's his family, and it's so much harder to deal with.

I'm after some good books about the subject, but don't know where to start. Tried amazon, but couldn't find what I was looking for, really. Any ideas?

He needs to read "Toxic Parents" written by Susan Forward as a starting point and you could read Toxic Inlaws by the same author.
He also needs to realise that it is not his fault that they are like this; he did not make them this way. People from dysfunctional families end up playing roles: your DHs role here is probably one of scapegoat.

I would also encourage him to look at the "Out of the Fog" website also.

I would certainly look to further lower all forms of contact with his family as they are really a toxic blight on your lives. Family are not binding and your DH will need to deal with his fear, obligation and guilt re his family of origin. It may be helpful for him to talk to a therapist and one at that who has no bias about keeping families together despite the presence of mistreatment.

Oh, thank you so much - very helpful, I will go and have a look at those now.

Susan Forward also has a book called Emotional blackmail that speaks about all the fog stuff..fear obligation guilt.
She is really good.