Father's rights?

[Hadalifeonce]

I have a friend who moved into his parents' home after he found his wife with another man, she is still seeing this other man, some 15 months on.

My friend pays her a more than reasonable sum, pays the mortgage and all bills, the have 2 young children of 8 and 3, monthly, plus does all the shopping, buys the children anything they need. I am not so sure of this situation currently, but he was going round every night to cook tea for the children and put them to bed; if he didn't, he couldn't guarantee they would be fed!

He has driven that all over the country for holidays, drops them off, then goes back to pick them up. If he doesn't do things like this, she tells him she will take the children an move 400 miles away, to where she has some family. The rest of her family are local.

I have suggested he go to see a solicitor in family law, because I feel sure that she can't do that. He says he looked at an online forum, and reckons she can do whatever she likes, and he has no say in it.

Does anyone have any idea about whether she can just up and leave?

No she can't.

A prohibited steps order can stop her uprooting the kids from family, school etc

Unless it's in their best interests

Thank you, I will suggest he looks at going down this root. He terrified she will take them so he continues to be abused by her.

He needs legal advice pronto. It will be on the basis of the children's rights, including the right to a relationship with him. He should be keeping a diary showing their contact with him and what he is doing, and certainly any times when he perhaps arrives later than usual and they haven't been fed, or anything of that nature.

Sounds like after 15 months he doesn't have the children overnight apart from on holidays away?
Why hasn't he already suggested a contact agreement and if necessary taken legal advice about it?
And why did he just leave them with her if he doesn't think she'll feed them? What about breakfast?

There are some really shit mothers out there, but I'd like to know the other side of this.

That he's paying mortgage and maintenance doesn't really mean much - sounds like he doesn't house the kids at all, so he should be paying that.

Anyway, in his position I'd speak to a solicitor first because he's left it so long (potentially giving her a lot of weight as primary cared) and because she has said about moving away. Then I would either propose a proper contact schedule or request she attend mediation to agree it.

He should do that as part of just getting on with the divorce - finances included.

But I really would take it all with a pinch of salt - you don't know how often he's going round, and he's relied on an online forum so far? Why on earth hasn't he taken proper steps yet?

Ah - I misread, it's not him taking them on holiday - it's him driving her and the kids to their holiday destination.

So does he have ANY overnight contact with the kids? It sounds like he doesn't?

And op......there's actually no such thing as fathers rights

He has none.....and neither do mothers

No parents have rights, theyhave responsibilities. It sounds like he is fulfilling his responsibilites and she is threatening not to.

He really, really needs to see a solicitor, and he really, really needs tomkeep a diary.

Parental responsibility, not rights.

They both have equal parental responsibility.

He can seek a prohibited steps order.

He should also seek a child arrangements order.

Simple as that.