I have never posted anything before but i just feel lost. Me and husband were childhood sweethearts, been together for 13 years, married for a few, have house, cars, good jobs. We are both 30. For a couple years i have wanted a baby but he kept putting it off, eventually he agreed after 12 years together, we were trying for 7 months and i was desperate for a baby then he said he had changed his mind and didnt want it anymore, i was devastated. He said i forced him into it. He said there are enough humans in the world, why would he want to add anymore?! I am on anti depressants because of the stress. Over last couple months a woman at his work has started going out on lunch with him everyday, texting each other, people have thought they were a couple as they are so close. Has caused massive arguments. Last week she wasn't there and he called me at lunch, i said its nice he was calling me and he said "its only because i dont have anyone else to talk too" . This morning he called me a cunt, twat even though i did nothing wrong. Punched me in the arm too because he stalled the car and i sniggered. He uses the car over me as he paid for it. He blames me for literally everything, says im controlling and its all my fault. It will be hard to leave because of money, he earns double what i do. I feel so depressed and stuck, i want to curl up into a ball and never wake up again :-(