the big split... house on the market, dog rehomed, feel lonely and scared

[twinkerbell]

So I found out dh was 'unfaithful' throughout our whole marriage not too long ago and have asked for divorce. Everything is moving so fast
( as it needs to) but I am so worried about being a single mom and doing it right ....support please.

anyone?
any single mums out there with mortgages? what percentage of your monthly wage is sensible to pay for your home would you say??
I am not having much luck finding anything but want as little mortgage as possible

Youll be cine as a single mum. Everything done your way in your house with no discussion makes things easier!

Thank you CountDucku1a

I will be better off in many ways (without s serial liar as a husband kinda way) but everything else is overwhelming.
Obviously my dd wants to live close to her friends and school but what I can afford in this area on my own is pretty grim and depresses me

Hi twinkerbell. Do you work? You may be entitled to tax credits/ universal credit as you are a lone parent. You can check online. I have a small mortgage but it still eats up about 25% of my wages. I am awaiting tax credits to be processed as I have recently split with my ex. I have some savings so am getting by fine for now.

You will be fine. Just one day at a time

Hi
yes I do work full time, despite not being on a particularly huge salary(I am a nurse) I am apparently not entitled a thing ? only child benefit.
I think 25% is what I was thinking. but still once you add council tax, school bus passes and all the normal utilities and petrol to work it doesn't leave a lot a lot at all :-(

It really doesn't does it? Wrt council tax you will get a 25% reduction with being (presumably) the only person over 18 in the house who pays for it.

Will you receive maintenance from your ex? My ex is paying for my childcare fees until I get financially sorted. I won't ask him for anything other than that. If/when I get tax credits I will pay for the childcare and he can pay a regular sum of maintenance.

30% of my wage will go on my new mortgage,but I am aware that I am fortunate enough to earn a decent wage. With maintenance and child benefit it should be ok-but I am in a constant state of panic. The divorce is stressful. The house selling/buying is stressful. My job is stressful. And thats the hard bit-not having adult share the burden.

Google for the 'entitled to' website to put in your details and double check your entitlements.

I doubt I will get any maintenance because dh is going back to his family area which means giving up work. he earns even less than me anyway.

Its not so bad at the moment because I cant get amazing fixed rate mortgage but its what happens to the interest rate that terrifies me.
How much roughly do you think is acceptable to be left with after all your bills/outgoings to have any kind of life?

sorry...I CAN get amazing fixed rates at the moment

What is acceptable for one person may not be for another. I know that as a minimum I need £175 a week to cover Petrol (£35) Food (£70) dinner money (£30) Pocket Money (£20) And £20 for eventualities. But that doesn't take into account clothing, holidays, days out, school trips all those unexpected things that take you by surprise! So personally I felt that £1000 a month after bills are paid was the minimum I wanted to be left with.

I'm a single mum of 2, a nurse and have my own home - mortgaged!

My whole salary goes on my mortgage! I work 16 hours a week.

Tax credits, child benefit and cms then pays for my bills and general life living!

It is tight but it's doable!

Do you have a SHL? if your STBX won't pay child support then you need to get the majority share of the marital assets .

sorry what is a SHL?

I am meeting my solicitor tomorrow and thinking of going for a 70/30% split in my favour.
Based on the fact that I earned more than him and therefore paid more into the pot, I spent my inheritance on a house extension (over £30k) which has obviously increased the house value. And obviously I will be buying a home for me and his dd.
It is so expensive now much more than I realised and I am struggling to find anything. I want to be fair to him but at the same time I have to be able to live

SHL-Shit hot lawyer.