tough day - any thoughts?

[buddhasbelly]

i dont know if i'm being a bit silly and sensitive but have had a rough day and might need some perspective.

One of my friends needed help with looking after their youngest (nearly 1) today. She had checked that I was free, (I wasn- my dd was at nursery due to shift changes, same ages with her eldest (3)) I had the morning to myself and was happy to help out whilst her dh took their eldest to her activity (baby not allowed).

I had horrendous pnd with my dd, she lived with my parents for a while (her dad is not around, was abusive to me and was back up in court yesterday for similar charges related to his new partner). DD has not seen her dad in 2 years and would not recognise him.

Anyway, on coming into the house the eldest dd (who hasn't visited before) said to her dad "the house is tiny daddy." I let it slide/laughed it off (they do have a big house and realise toddlers dont have a filter). The dad didn't say anything eg that houses come in all shapes and sizes or something.

On picking up the baby, the eldest started asking why my dd didn't have a dad. I was a bit worn out by this point from looking after a baby again (first time i have done so) and just said the "shapes and sizes" type response.

On neither occasion did the dad try and explain either comment (house and dad) to his dd, just left me to answer. He didnt seem very appreciative about me looking after his baby either just a sort of thanks that you would say if someone had passed you something you'd asked for. I wasn't expecting gushing thank yous etc but just seemed a bit off.

I feel like i'm being daft to be a bit put out by this but it has upset me a tad. Is it a bit silly to be upset by this? I need some perspective!

I

I don't know about the Dad but, having spent the day with my DGS, whom I look after regularly, I'd definitely say don't ever take what a 3 year old says to heart.

I would think your friend needs all the help she can get, being married to a twat like that.

thanks poly - think it was all just a bit much! kept saying to myself that children say it how they see it, that they never really mean offense, just felt a bit put out that the dad had kind of left me to answer these things rather than explain to his dd himself.

Maybe he thought i already had answers to these type of questions or something and thought it best to let me handle it myself, I was just quite tired by this point and had a day of work ahead of me! The joys of children!

imperial i'm torn between was he thinking he was best leaving me to field the responses or was he just more, well, twattish!

I would think the dad was embarrassed and did not know what to say, perhaps he explained to the child on the way home or perhaps as it was a three year old did not think she would understand the complexity of human relations. I would explain to our kids that they should be careful they don't upset people but it does not always work, she asked one relative why are they so big? It was not an easy conversation over that one getting over that its a question that can cause upset but you don't want to frighten kids from asking questions.