think i want to leave dh

[kittypants]

Come on hon, what's up

Why? (meant to show sympathy)

yesterday found hed not been paying rent and we owe £3500,he doesnt get its bad that we could lose house etc,says im blowing it out of proportion but its not just that,thats icing on cake.just generally not getting on,were different people.and i just dont seem to like him very much.

i probably sound like drama queen and theres worse things in world but....

sounds like more than just rent problems, have you felt like this for a long time?

yes,things are more bad than good.i know relationships are not perfect all the time but it is mostly bad.

how long have youbeen together?

8 years,married for 7

How does he feel ? The rent thing sounds like he's a bury head in the sand type of person ?

does he know things have degenerated this far for you?

yes he buries head in sand and hopes for best.
i asked him to pee off yesterday,i just didnt want him near me as he prefers not to talk through problems so all night hes saying are you seriously peed off with me.hes happy being unhappy.

you need to make him take you seriously, tho i dont know how. what about going to relate or something similar together?

Maybe he is too scared to talk to you as he has an idea how you feel? Would it be possible to tell him you are considering leaving him. May be the wake up call he needs ?

do you have to pay?dont think hed be up for it but worth finding out about.we have 3 children and i owe it to them to try.

maybe

you pay on a sliding scale depending on your income, we only paid a tenner a session

it didnt save my marriage but it made me sure i wanted to end it, i might have meandered on being unhappy had i not gone and tried it

Don't rush anything - take your time and be absolutely sure. I think Relate's a really good idea. I went with my ex-DH and it did help me be sure I'd made the right decision - and made the split far more amicable.

thanks.how do i find out more.

here

lou33 thankyou,theres a few in my area.now i have to get dh to listen long enough and see if he'll go.
whats it like-isnt it awkward/hard in front of stranger?can you shout/scream?do they ask questions?

they are very good, if you need to get upset then you can, but they wont let anyone get aggressive or abusive

if he wont go you can still go on your own, they can still help you even if he refuses to acknowledge the situation you are in.

really?thats good to know.thankyou

you are welcome, good luck

Good luck Kitty. It will help you make a decision either way.