Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help me make sense of it all...

3 replies

Daisymay1988 · 16/08/2017 10:01

Sorry for the long post...
I need some advice please.
Bit of background info. I have always been really close to my mum. I have two dc 1&4. I work nights so mum has always had them once a week (oh works away) while I work and I collect in morning on way home.
Recently my poor dog (he was 14) was put to sleep, due to dementia, constant incontinence and rubbish quality of life in general. Because of this my mum has now fallen out with me for making this choice. And she can't talk to me cos she's 'too upset' and that she won't be having the children while I work.
Obviously I was devastated by this, because all I wanted was a cuddle and comfort for losing my little chap, and was what I was expecting.
Now because of this none of my family are talking to me, as not to upset my mum.
I'm literally at breaking point I'm so upset.
She's gone funny on occasions before when I've done nothing wrong and I've always apologised to keep the peace. But I'm fed up with doing this and living by rules to keep her happy.
She decided to talk to me again at the weekend so I just went with it. She then said 'I'll have children when your next at work' I said thank you but this week mil has offered but as from next week yes brilliant thank you. (Mil and I never really got on as shes very cold, not hands on with kids, but building bridges hopefully) with this my mum yet again flipped saying she's so hurt and that I used her and she's pushed out and no longer wanted. I tried explain that while she hasn't spoken to me the last month, i had to go to work, I had to sort something out. And ironically forced me and mil to build bridges as I had no one else to talk too.
Now I'm being accused of keeping the children from her, I've said countless times I'd never do this and she can see them
When she likes but she's not having any of it.
It's been left that she will never have children again and mil can do it all and she wants nothing to do with me...
I'm just totally overwhelmed by it all and so stressed out. And it's not fair on kids seeing mum all the time and then not seeing her.
What do I do?
Thanks for reading if you got to the end xx

OP posts:
IfYouJumpInMuddyPuddles · 16/08/2017 10:49

I'm sure somebody will be along with the right labels soon. You're mum sounds a little bonkers and if as you say you're fed up and don't want to play her games then don't. Choose your stance and stick to it. "I was heartbroken to have to have my dog put down but there was no other option. In the month you refused to have my children I had to find alternative care so I could work. I will never stop you seeing them but you have to stop this constant emotional pulling." Never apologise. You have done nothing wrong! Cuddles and Flowers xx

flowersarelovely · 16/08/2017 11:03

Get the kids to make her a nice card and buy some flowers when they go to hers next. I don't think you've done anything wrong at all and your mum is being territorial over her grandchildren, but it might help to keep the peace and avoids you having to apologise when you've done nothing wrong!

It was your dog so you knew what was best for him, you don't need to apologise to her.

Butterymuffin · 16/08/2017 11:09

What a drama on your mum's part. I'dcontinue to keep your distance and say you'll talk when she's calmed down.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page