Thankyou!! But what next?

[Sillyface29]

hi!
A few days ago I posted a thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3000561-Dont-know-what-to-do-anymore what was me basically being a pathetic mess asking for advice about my drug taking, cheating, absolute dead beat dad of an ex.
With everyone's replies and honestly I finally found the courage to sling his hook. I realised I could never take my child back to that situation, and he simply wasn't good enough to be apart of his life. I also have an appointment with the doctor as I had pnd and I don't know if that's rearing its ugly head again! So thankyou everyone from the bottom of my heart for giving me the strength and support!

I really wish I could say it was a happy ending but it's not. As stated in my previous post I'm staying with my mum till I feel confident and less anxious to move into our new home, it was all ready and waiting and I'm really proud of what me and my mum have achieved having left him with nothing.
Anyways my ex had come to my mums 3 days ago, to ask if he could see my son. When I told him he had to go to the doctors and get proper help he left and that was that.
The next day I go to get my house key to take my son along our joke for a few hours and finish tiny bits of decorating and I realise the key was missing.
To cut a long story short, my ex had taken the key the previous day and had stayed there. Not only that but had people in MY home drinking alcohol and taking cocaine.

I am absolutely distraught and heart broken by this. That was my sons new home and our fresh start...how can I raise him in a home I know his father and who ever else was in there has took drugs.
I've called the police, but now I have my key back they can't do much.
I feel like I'm failing my son, I can't look at him without crying knowing how his dad has failed him. For months me and my mum have built our new home up from scratch with everything brand new and now it feels dirty.
I've told him he has no more contact (not even supervised) with my son as I was allowing to see him asking as I was there. He's said I can't do that and started making threats, claiming he's not just my son and he will show me who's clever.

I just feel fucking sick. Can anyone advise me what to do. I have texts admitting he's taken drugs in my home. Could I go to a solicitor? I just really don't know what to do.

Thankyou xx

I don't have any advice sorry, but judges to say well done for leaving him and to hand hold.

Thankyou Lulu 💗 Xx

I don't know what you should do, but maybe a solicitor would be a good place to start.
As for your new home, I know he's spoilt it, I'd be livid. But it's still your home and it will be amazing filled with love, you and your son will make it a home, not just new stuff.

Just here to say well done. And you have made such amazing progress with your new home, he can't take that from you. He wishes he could but you are stronger than that. He did it because he sees you getting life in order, knows he can't control it and is jealous.

Go to social services. Show them the messages and ask them to help you get a court order around ex's contact with your son. It'll be so much easier if he causes issues in the future. Good luck with it all

Thankyou for the really helpful replies!
I'm still getting the threats this morning about my son, I've blocked him on everything but he's now contacting my brother. I feel like just packing my stuff and running. This is horrible
Xx

Also change the lock on the property as he might of got a spare key cut from it, then at least you know he can't do it again.

At least you know now just how right you were to get rid of him, that's truly disgusting behaviour, he wanted to upset you. I wouldn't let him get the better of me, go there with your mum, get the locks changed, open all the windows and spray your own perfume about.

I would actually report him to the police. I wouldn't let him win.

So sorry to read this update OP. x

I second getting the locks changed.
Also, see a solicitor. If he's adamant about seeing your Son, get an order so it's only in a contact centre . If he's drinking and taking cocaine you need to make sure he's safely supervised.
He sounds really selfish so I'm sure he'll soon get fed up and drift away.

Definitely get the locks changed. Others have given good advice on the legal and contact side of things so I'll go with some woo advice.

If you're at all into woo stuff, you could cleanse your new house by burning sage around the whole house interior. You can buy smudge sticks of dried sage for this.

Alternatively, if you're C of E or catholic your vicar or priest could come to bless your house.

Cleaning house and windows, wiping light switches and door handles, scrubbing bathroom, will help you reclaim your space if the above doesn't appeal!

He sounds like a vindictive twat and no contact with him at all is definitely the way to go. Can your brother block him too?

Again, thankyou for the replies. I think I'm going to give the house a deep clean when I feel comfortable enough going along.

My brother has blocked him. I've just had someone come up to me and call me disgusting for not letting him see my son.
I really just want to out him for the person he really is but I feel like I owe it to my son to not tell the world what his dad is really like.

More advice needed!
I have since found out he has had 7 local known drug takers in my house. I had to clean cocaine off my fire place as me and my mum went to give the place a deep clean- I was absolutely gutterd.
We went back along this morning to finish off cleaning, and some stuff has been moved around so we think he has had a key cut.
I've phoned my landlord to ask about the locks and it is going to be too expensive to get them changed.
I feel at a loss at what to do? I feel totally violated and scared. The fact that he may have been in my house and have a key, the fact I've had to clean drugs away when I have never touched a drug in my life.
I feel totally sick and keep having panic attacks, the home I've tried to build for my son has been ruined. But if I pack it in I feel like I'm letting him win but I am so frightened. I realise how pathetic I sound. I'm nearly 30 for god sake.
Xx

There's lots of videos online showing you how to change a lock really cheaply OP, have a look.

I wish I was nearly 30 again, lots of good years in front of you once this horrible little blip gets sorted. x