My Mum

[gentlydoesit89]

I don't know whether to post this in Relationships, AIBU or just not post altogether but I need to get this off my chest. I'm also on my phone so apologies for the lack of paragraphs!

My mum and dad live two doors down and look after my little boy while I work. He's 5.
My partner lives in the city I work in, approx 25 miles away- I commute daily, we both have good jobs in the city and, 2 years into this relationship, we are looking to move to a house in the city next year.

Mum tonight has told me she will be hurt and upset when we move, but 'won't stand in our way'. It's upset me that she's never just happy for me- I've had a crappy time relationship wise with my DS dad, and he and my new DP get on amazingly and love each other to pieces.

I feel like I have to stay here, meaning eventually my DP and I will split... the prospects in the city far outweigh where I live now but I feel selfish and can't keep everyone happy.
I feel so sad about something I was so excited about.

If anyone has any advice it'd be greatly appreciated, thank you.

It's an over reaction from you to say you feel like you need to stay there. You don't at all. You can't change her, so work on your response to her.

Fair enough she's upset you're leaving, especially having been so hands on with support for her grandson.

Hurt is OTT though, and it sounds like she has form.

Ignore it - and if there's history and you can't, consider therapy to help you break free of it - because it really shouldn't be making you consider staying put!

Family support is great though - is it not an option for your boyfriend to move to you and you both commute in like you are? Is your son already settled in school?

Doesn't matter if you want the city, and less commute and you're happy with the new school and childcare isn't an issue though. Go for it and enjoy!

You so don't need to stay! I can't believe you are considering it! Go. And start your lovely new life. She'll get used to it and adjust. In a couple more years he will be that bit older and their relationship will change anyway. So no point throwing all this away for a couple more years of her babysitting.

Your dm may have given you a life but she doesn't own it!!
Do what is best for yourself, ds and dp.
She will have to accept it or lose you. .
Don't put your relationship at risk. .

Why would you let your mother dictate your life? That's ridiculous. She will just have to deal with whatever you choose.