I'm 27. Dp 30. Been together 8/9 years and ds who's 1. He works full time I'm part time evenings. Not married.
Not really sure where to start. It feels like me and dp don't communicate anymore. He's gets tired and stressed and instead of saying that he just goes into a mood. I interpret that as a mood with me and he inturn goes into a mood with me because I'm in a mood with him.
Every time I try and speak to him he says everything's fine and he's tired/stresses etc. But at times it feels like that's the surface of the issue.
It was ds's birthday. Dp decided half way through he would give his mums partner a lift home. It about 2 hour round trip. Whilst he was gone and the party was winding down I noticed the cake hadn't been cut. Wanting to do it before everyone left we all sang happy birthday. Dp got back about 5pm and instantly annoyed I had done the cake without him. Tried to explain and mutterings of its his first birthday etc. And he's missed it. The problem is, he never seems bothered. He wanted a party for dc (I didn't) and I then end up doing everything. Sorting food out, guests, tidying up etc. He just sat there looking like he hated life. I just tried to speak to him to apologise and he blames it on being tired/stressed etc. When r got home instead of spending time with ds playing with toys he spent the time in the kitchen on his own.
I think he takes me for granted. I do 99% of the housework and what feels like 60% of the childcare when we're both in the house together. He then says stuff like oh well I do the bedtimes 4/7 nights (I work evenings so I can be home with ds during the day. Also means we have more disposable income as we're not paying my wage out in childcare). I'm sat there thinking, well I do fucking everything. He has always been the messy type. And I understand that's who he is, but he seems so unbothered by it. He doesn't think to check the dishwasher to see if there's space for his mug. To be fair I'm lucky if his mug makes the trip to the kitchen. It just means I end up doing it when I get home from work. If I left his stuff where he left it. It would stay there till it grew legs and walked. I also can't cope with the mess. I grew up in a messy house and it stresses me out. He will leave his clothes where he takes them of. If I don't attend to the pile of dirty jeans his side of the bed I think they would actually grow mould,
He says we're skint (we wouldn't be if he didn't spend a fortune on takeaways). We have a combined income (takehome) of £2800 ish. Our bills are about £2000pm. But we're still 'skint' every month, he then moans he wants me working full time (we would be worse off) but he doesn't seem to consider this. Only thinks that he would have more time to chill out after work. I simply don't have enough time to work full time and keep on top of everything. I also don't want to! I enjoy spending days with ds.
I've just tried to talk to him. But he says he's tired. But he spent the whole of yesterday doing nothing (I had ds all day) he slept for most of it then buggered of out. I got up early with ds and during the night with him, dp got up about 8:30. Probably woke up about 8 ish?
I literally have no idea what to do anymore. He won't speak to me and when I do try he doesn't speak to me.
Apologies this is so bloody long!