I feel like I have a chip missing - anyone else?

[BlessedBeTheFruit]

I don't seem to have a longing for a relationship. I feel like I'm the only one. It seems like even in the university days/people's single days they enjoyed stuff but knew that coupling up would come next and as much as they enjoyed it they always had half an eye on looking for someone to settle down with. And I never really thought about it. And now people are getting married or buying property together and I'm behind all that.

I'm not trying to be all special snowflake "I'm above settling down and having 2.4 kids and a mortgage", I don't rule it out it's just not something I really think about. I wonder if I'm affected by my depression and can't really plan ahead, so I can't imagine having a 5 year plan with a partner etc.

Do you think it's the depression talking or does anyone else feel like this?

Maybe you're just very comfortable with being single? I was for nearly 7 years, but I was also suffering from depression. That never really went away once I was together with someone though, I guess it never really goes away we just find ways of managing it.

Interesting, thanks Dad. Yes maybe as I don't mind being single I'm not perhaps always looking like other single people are.

No, nothing wrong. Plenty of people are happy to be single.
I'm perfectly happy with the idea that I'll never have another long term relationship - not because I'm settling or whatever. I just don't want one.
And I guess that's the question. Not 'do you see yourself having a relationship' but 'do you actually want one?'

I think people put themselves under pressure to comply to social norms.

I am a single mum, have a live in nanny, love my career and was single for years and happily so. I have been with someone for a year and right now have no intentions of moving in together. It's not what I want. I like things the way they are.

Any scenario is fine as long as you are happy

Half the adult population are single at any given time. Therefore, I think it makes you statistically normal if anything. Mumsnet forum posters give a real insight into the heartache that comes with being in the wrong relationship, or dating for the sake of it. You just sound like you are an independent person which is an attractive trait. Perhaps you will find someone one day, perhaps not...finding yourself is half the battle of a fulfilling life, and accepting the person that you are - faults and all.

I think I forget it's normal to be single when it seems like all your friends are settling down/getting married.

One can settle down as a single though, yes? And it is fine that other folks want to marry. But what does that have to do with you (or a single person)? Nothing. Follow your own path (this is your life), no need to second guess yourself about it.

That's true AndTheBand. Maybe it's because I'm not settled down yet that I feel it more.