Post-Separation/Divorce Pain

[sunshiney78]

My husband and I separated a month ago and I have started the divorce process. Here is the history

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2977773-Husband-on-Tinder?pg=5&order=

I'm not coping very well. I thought I was fine in the first week, because all I felt was anger. Now I feel like im walking around with an aching hole in my gut.
DH was very apologetic after initially being an a**. I stupidly asked him to come back a week ago because I missed him so much and he said he said "I'm really sorry, but ive moved on." I know my asking him to come back was purely my reaction to change and grief and in the long run its for best, but THE PAIN!?!
Is this normal? Should I see my GP or a therapist? I do have some friend/family support, but bloody hell this is harder than I imagined!

Op I'm in the same situation. I asked H for a divorce, for damn good reasons. I rode the wave of righteous anger for a while and was absolutely horrified when the grief struck. It's the most awful feeling, but I'm just thinking that going back would be worse, and I need to push through! Sending hugs to you. X

Thanks LinMan. Hugs to you too. ️Xx I also keep ruminating about all the ways I contributed to the way things turned out 😒

My DH and I have separated and I feel similar. My emotions are all over the place and constantly moving about. I'm angry with him, sobbing the next and I've this heavy ache and sickness in my stomach. The pain really is normal but it will go. I know, I've had it before. You just need time.

I'm seeing a therapist and I've found that helpful before. I've had to delete almost every app from my phone because I can't trust myself on social media. I find switching off all technology helps, reading, staying busy and immediately thinking of something else if he pops into my head.

I get this, but as chest pain (radiating into left arm - saw gp, not something related to my heart in the physical sense). It is normal for depressive emotions to include physical pain symptoms. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

It happens to me when I am really upset about anything, particularly when I feel someone I love has rejected me in some way. It happened a lot when I left my ex husband. Even though I chose to leave it was an absolutely dreadful time.

My way of dealing with it is having a good cry, having a cigarette with a cup of tea (I'm not a smoker), asking a friend for a hug, getting out for a nature/park walk in all weathers, exercising, and watching Graham Norton show clips x

I'm 3 months post separation. Initially I felt that my world had been ripped apart and was completely devastated after finding out about my STBExHs adultery.
In the past couple of weeks I feel like I've turned a corner and feel much more like myself.
I've distracted myself by doing loads of work on the house and garden, and making sure I have social events to look forward to.
I have suffered from anxiety previously, and felt the same symptoms returning so my gp has put me on a low dose of meds.
Please see your doctor. You've experienced a massive emotional trauma and there's no shame in asking for help.
And talk about it, on here or with your friends and family.
It's a saying you will hear often but it really does get easier in time.

Thank you all. I was already on antidepressants, so I'm concerned about getting to that place again. I do try to distract myself with work, going out etc. But that emptiness is always there.

I guess I have to keep reminding myself that it will fade.

I'm 7 months on and it has got easier. Mine was all about his affair and how that played out so it was fairly traumatic.
I couldn't really function in the beggining. Despite having children to sort, I practically crawled through each day. Now I'm starting to create my new life and putting things in place to move on.
He's now living with the OW which is hard but I'm sleeping better and those thoughts do not fill every waking moment I have. You WILL get though this! X

Reading this has helped me this morning.
@namechanged I relate to what you said a lot - the constant up and down of emotions.

I've really felt the lowest I've ever felt in my life this last week. If it weren't for my DD I fear I'd have done something stupid.

It really does help to read other people are going through this and feeling the same horrible feelings. It's easy to feel like you're the only person in the world going through this when you've nobody else in RL than can relate.

I can't wait for things to get easier.

I'm 6 weeks in from my husband if 21 years telling me he no longer loves me and has feelings for someone else. When he told me he said he hadn't spoken to her for two months as her husband found out and she was trying to give her marriage a go (she has a 2 and 5 year old). Why won't my husband give it a go, I don't understand. I'm up and down but mostly down especially at the minute as my 15 year old is away with him and my 19 year old is on what should have been our family holiday with her friends. I feel so desperate at times as I have begged him to come back and at least try and make things work. I feel lost and scared that I won't be able to find anyone who will love me the way he used to, we were soulmates and he was my best friend. I find that I can't stop myself from texting him and calling him because I am so upset that this isn't him and don't understand why he left us for maybe nothing.