Too scared to ask for a knife and fork

[Teaspoonlady]

Ate my dinner with a teaspoon tonight that i was using for my baby to eat with. I was too scared to ask my husband for a knife and fork incase I get a tirade of verbal abuse. I've currrently fractured my
Foot and I can't do hardly anything. He's doing it all which I'm sure is stressful if you haven't really done it before. But he is being constantly attacking me because I can't do anything. It's unbearable. I don't even ask for a drink in the day because I don't want to set him off. Our son has cerebral palsy which my husband still hasn't accepted yet and I'm also having to cope with that on my own.
Found myself having a panic attack in the bathroom tonight as he told me to get a bath to get rid of my stinking noon. I had a bath yesterday. He's just being vicious for no reason. Apparently I need to get my emotions in check and it's all my problem. Feel absolutely emotionally battered. Just needed
To write to down and get it out

And I fell down the stairs. He would never lay a finger on me. Hasn't ever in 12 years.

I just feel mentally beaten

He is a nasty twat and your emotions are entirely justified my love. Please tell someone in rl and get some practical support.

OP emotional abuse can have more long lasting effects than physical abuse.

Emotional abuse is abuse. And no level of abuse is acceptable. This is not a good environment for you or you son. Please seek help to keep both you and your child safe from this man.

He doesn't need to lay a finger on you- you can still be abused.
Do you speak to people the way he speaks to you?
Would you like your child to be spoken to in that way?

You deserve better than this.

Give Women's Aid a ring. He's abusing you and you need some help.

Please call Women's Aid.

You ok this morning op?

OP please find it within yourself to leave this sorry excuse for a human being. He has a lot of issues... NONE of which are to do with you.
I have previously been in a similar position. Waking each morning with a knot of anxiety wondering what you will 'do wrong' today. What will be 'your fault' and how he will be 'putting up' with you. The berating words, pathetic, weird, useless, ugly excuse for a woman, and comparisons to how you should be that you know intellectually are utter bs but over time corrupt your sense of self so much that you are a shell of the strong and passionate character you once were. For me it only got worse and culminated in me being left with nothing. Please call woman's aid, leave and live the life that you and your daughter deserve. Do not waste one more ounce of your energy on this person. Emotional abuse is very real and very damaging but you can make the choice to get out.

Today has been fine until kids get bored. Can't take them anywhere and dh is working from home.
Been playing with them all morning doing a fairy garden but my foot is burning and had to sit down. They start getting bored and dh starts having a go at me why aren't I doing anything. If I get up he tells me to sit down, if I sit down he tells me I should be doing something.
I lost it. Told him I've had enough and feel like punching him I'm so frustrated. I'm so upset I clenched both my fists and hammered on my own head infront of him bawling my eyes out. I've never done anything like that before. Now upstairs trying to recover from a panic attack it then created.

Try to calm down and remember it is his behaviour that it wrong, not yours. Can you listen to some music, take a bath... something to help you relax? Keep the focus on dd. Do you know what you want to do?

doesn't sound like this is healthy for you - anyone else you can get to come around for a few days / clubs the kids can go to to ease it up a bit?

Can he work from somewhere else (coffee shop etc) or does he need to be there to help? Can he take time off (holiday)?

Agree with PP, have a think about what you want your longer term plan to be

Jeez is he always this horrible? Seriously can you call in some family help to ease the situation?

Is there anywhere you can stay to get away from him?

Oh mate, this is awful. I tore the ligaments in my knee, and my hubby works full time and still manages to help to care for me and son with a smile and good grace even though he is exhausted.
He sounds like a toddler having a tantrum, because he has to do stuff.
Waaah, I don't wanna!
Tough shit, he's a grown up. Take some responsibility

Are you ok?

You need to get out of there, can you call anybody at all? Family, friends or womens aid? I've been in that situation and it rapidly goes from bad to worse - sorry to say but you really do need to get out before he destroys your self esteem and confidence.
You deserve so much better my lovely

OP emotional abuse can have more long lasting effects than physical abuse.

^ This. and this again and again. the PP is right; please don't stay and put up with this as it really screws you up. Trust me on that one. I didn't get out and I should have done. Please don't be me.

Is he deliberately winding you up, because it sounds like he is. Is there anyone who can come and help while you're unable to do much? Please get some help, OP.

OP I was going to ask what he'd do if you totally lost your shit and yelled at him for being such an uncaring twat, but it sounds like you have already.

Tell me - how did he react? What has he done in response?

What is he like when you're fit and well?

Some folk don't respond to stressful events very well, so I'll withhold judgement until you tell me what life is like usually.

You know though, that you deserve better, don't you? You have that niggling thought?