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Original poster

Renewing vows

14 replies

chestylarue52 · 14/08/2017 11:49

Not for me, I'm not married. On another thread a poster was asking about renewing vows at her wedding anniversary and many posters said it was a sign of an affair or that the marriage was in trouble. I remember my mum saying that when we were children - that if the vows were renewed you could bet a divorce was on the cards! Just wondered if this is old wives wisdom or if its your experience?

OP posts:
DressedCrab · 14/08/2017 11:51

It is my experience. Haven't had many friends do this 2 couples who did later broke up. No point in renewing vows unless you have broken them.

Mum2lots · 14/08/2017 11:52

I renewed mine after 16 years xx celebrating our 40th birthdays loved having our children there xx no divorce for us we are celebrating our 20th anniversary on the 16th xx my view I loved every min of the day so less stressful than the first time xxx

FeralBeryl · 14/08/2017 11:56

We had always said we'd quite like to do this after 10 years, but seeing all the Hmm stories on here put me off!
Definitely no adultery or mistreatment on either side. Just lots of children and a hideously busy life where we both feel miles apart from each other.
We saw it as a way to remind each other that we're still good and maybe another holiday with no kids
Maybe we'll go out for tea instead Grin

Redglitter · 14/08/2017 11:59

My parents renewed at their silver wedding. Just them my brother and I. No other guests no fancy outfits. They were very happy for another 17 years until my dad died

TheNaze73 · 14/08/2017 12:02

Normally the last chance saloon where one party has cheated & they're too old to have yet another child to paper over the cracks

KentMum2008 · 14/08/2017 12:02

I posted on the other thread, but I'll post on here too. My parents renewed their vows after 40 years. Dad was terminally ill and for them it was about reaffirming the promises they made to each other when they were only 19, and sharing it with people who weren't there the first time. Neither of them had affairs, and they had 40 wonderful years together. It was beautiful and sad at the same time. I hate that it's now seen as something you do when someone's had an affair now.

NewLevelsOfTiredness · 14/08/2017 12:30

My parents did about 20 years ago, but their marriage had been in trouble, and there had been an affair.

They've done a better job of keeping them this time, judging by the happy way they've gone about their life together since.

mydogisthebest · 14/08/2017 14:12

How nasty to say there is no point renewing vows unless you have broken them.

I think it is a nice thing to do. Me and DH have talked about it but haven't done it yet. We might on our 40th.

Neither of us have been unfaithful nor is there anything wrong with our marriage.

Some people don't agree with me and that's fine but no need to be rude

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 14/08/2017 14:18

Marriage vows don't expire so I'd assume one party had broken them, unless it was a golden wedding or something.

PsychedelicSheep · 14/08/2017 14:19

I don't know anyone who's done this yet, but it seems like a more 'middle age' thing to do so not surprising really.

I would definitely assume there would have be something seriously up in the marriage though, an affair or something. Otherwise what's the point of it?

user1494187262 · 14/08/2017 14:27

We renewed ours but it was as previous posters have said, because they were broken.
It's interesting that 'having an affair' appears to be the only vow that people acknowledge as being broken. Vows are broken every day in marriages but no-one seems to worry unless it involves shagging someone else.

TortiousTortoise · 14/08/2017 14:39

I know it's not popular, but we did it in my home country so that we could celebrate with friends and family who could not be with us at our actual wedding many years before.

Angelf1sh · 14/08/2017 15:44

In my experience (and it coincides with the majority of the posters above) they fall into the following categories:

  1. Affair
  2. Marriage is otherwise in a difficult patch
  3. big wedding anniversary/birthday
  4. severe/terminal illness
  5. couple from different countries where wedding occurred in one country and vow ceremony in another (usually within a year or two of each other)
  6. people claiming they haven't had an affair.
Gorgosparta · 14/08/2017 16:39

Hmm. We renwed. Because we split. It better this time around. We wanted to.

When i say we renewed, it was just us and the kids. On a beach, during our holiday. It was an hour of our day.

No party. No guest. Was just for us.

No cheating involved but the split obviously. So i would say there is a good chance there is or has been something else going on.

I do know one peeson who renewed because he cheated. She wanted it made public (really the OW) that he was committed to her. He looked uncomfortable the whole day. They split 2 months after.

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