Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is it normal to fight this much?!

2 replies

ZZal · 13/08/2017 20:03

My partner and I had our first baby recently. We were so excited to finally enjoy our time together as a proper family after waiting a long 9 months, but ever since DD was born we have been fighting non-stop. Does this happen with every couple after they have a baby? When we (eventually) make up we put it down to the stresses of having a newborn, or me struggling with my PND (although I'm beginning to feel like that excuse is too easy for him to use now).

We've obviously had big arguments before, but this is too far now. It's quite literally happening every day, and it always ends in him shouting insults at me or calling me names while I smugly sit pretending to ignore him. He's admitted he only says these things out of anger and frustration but it doesn't make it any easier to hear him say those things to me day in day out.

He's said more than a few times now about how I'm making it difficult to still be around, and he keeps threatening to move out and stay with his mum, but has never actually left as he "doesn't want to miss out" on DDs life. I think he's slowly but surely falling out of love with me, and only still with me because of her. I used to be a very emotional person, but I don't cry very often now, either due to PND or becoming so used to the arguing, so I don't think he realises just how much this is affecting me and that it's not just him who is miserable.

Is it normal to fight this much and be this uptight with one another after a baby? Or are we on a total downward spiral? Sad

(Sorry for the long post)

OP posts:
fc301 · 13/08/2017 20:27

No it's not normal.
It's normal to have to go through a massive adjustment. It's normal to have frustrated arguments about who is more tired.
It's not normal to scream, name call & threaten to leave.
Sorry.

PencilPen · 13/08/2017 21:27

It did not happen to me and DH so can't say it is 'normal'. What is the nature of the arguments? Would you be able to work out a consensus on issues with him?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread