Can anyone explain what co dependency is

[Trippingovertoys]

Bear with me. Sorry if it becomes disjointed or rambly.

I confided in a friend about dh and said how much more confident about leaving I would feel if my parents were around.

I was thinking more about it and I think in many ways I looked to replace the parenting relationship with dh. I don't mean in a horrible way. I mean I was very young when I met him and he felt "safe" and I didn't question him or think in terms of red flags.

Is this co dependency?

And how do you stop being co dependent?

I might be completely wrong but I think it's over-reliance on a partner. It's leads to dysfunctional relationships.

psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/

It's living your life trough them. If they're happy you're happy. It's having no independence. My father is like this, they're in their own bubble and go everywhere together. It's not healthy.

It's a kind of dysfunction. It used to refer to the behaviour of alcoholics.

I have just left a co dependant relationship and it really isn't healthy. I never realised how bad it is when I was in it. My ex relied on me for everything to the point I was more like a carer. He wasn't happy if I wasn't was his favourite line but even if I was he thought I wasn't. He never wanted to be apart and got to the point he didn't even want me to be around out children. I wasn't completely blameless as I gave in and felt responsible for him. I'm currently so much happier and just have to keep away from him as I still feel like i ow him something.

Ive had it explained to me so many times but I still dont quote get it either.

I thought it was something to do with you only feeling value in yourself or your relationship if you are the fixer or the better person but I think there's loads more to it than that.